Of Poets and Jocks
by Archemios
Summary: Title pending. With some pressure from Lynn, Clyde signs up for wrestling in an effort to impress Lori; with pressure from Lincoln, he decides to try dating other girls - namely the sporty Loud currently coaching him. Lynn is against it, but maybe she can learn to like her brother's dorky friend. Unknown to both, there is another girl waiting... Safe House.
1. Chapter 1

**Thought I'd do something "Safe House" for once.** **My goal is to be popular with** ** _both_** **halves of the TLH fandom :D**

 **Good luck with that…**

"Do you think…" Clyde began, stopping short with a blush. His best friend, Lincoln, raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Do I think what?" the white-haired preteen asked.

"Do you think that Lori might like me more if I were… fit?" the bespectacled boy asked.

"Oh, not this again," Lincoln sighed, "Clyde, I don't think that's the problem…"

"Bobby moved away," Clyde said, hurriedly, "This is my best chance."

"I highly doubt you getting ripped is going to attract my sister," Lincoln pointed out, "What sport would you possibly play, anyway? You hate running!"

There was a sound of rushing sneakers before Lynn vaulted over the fence the two preteens were sitting behind.

"Did somebody say 'sport'?" the jock asked as she landed, flawlessly, before her younger brother and his friend.

"Clyde here thinks he can attract Lori by getting ripped," Lincoln explained with a smirk, "Please tell him why that won't work."

"It would _totally_ work!" Lynn grinned, "Girls _love_ a man with muscles."

"What?!" Lincoln sputtered, "Girls liked me, and I'm not muscly!"

"Not muscly?" Lynn snorted, "We play sports and work out almost every day; you're more fit than half the kids in the school! Girls are _always_ checking you out at the pool."

"Th-they are?" Lincoln gulped.

"You never noticed?" Clyde asked, generally surprised.

"Anyway, what sort of sports were you thinking of?" Lynn turned her focus to the afroed boy.

"I was thinking of just lifting some weights, or doing crunches…" Clyde confessed.

"Ha!" Lynn slapped her forehead, "That's a good way to build muscle, _I guess_ , but the best way is to have fun while doing it. Sports will keep you fit, will teach you teamwork and camaraderie, and will keep you entertained! I mean, if it's not entertaining, will you _really_ keep doing it?"

"She's got a point," Lincoln shrugged, "Workouts would get you fit, but if you're not having fun, why keep doing them?"

"Okay, so maybe I should sign up for a sport," Clyde sighed, "Not football."

"Nuts," Lynn tsked, "Baseball?"

"No," Clyde shook his head.

"Now that's just un-American," Lynn chided, "Track and field? Basketball? Soccer? Swim team? _Tennis_?!"

"What about golf?" Clyde suggested, "Or bowling?"

"The point is to get fit," Lynn groaned, "You need to pick a sport that works you out, not a _leisure sport_."

"Um…" Clyde tapped his chin. Working out didn't appeal to him as much as he thought it would, but he had to think of _something_. The love of Lori was on the line! "Wrestling?"

Both Louds blinked in surprise at the suggestion, before Lynn grinned even wider. Lincoln gave Clyde a worried look, knowing how harsh a coach Lynn could be.

"Wrestling it is," Lynn nodded, "I'll give you a day to notify your next of kin; I expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Uh-oh," Clyde realized his mistake too late. Lynn had already left, leaving the boys alone.

"She's not _too_ bad," Lincoln lied, "Anyway, you don't have to do this. Why not try your hand at another girl? Haiku seemed really interested at the dance…"

"Lincoln, you _know_ I love Lori," Clyde said, "I mean, Haiku is nice and all, but she's not _Lori_."

"Ugh," Lincoln shook his head, "You're hopeless."

…

"You're getting stronger," Lynn beamed at her protégé. It was always so exciting to mold the physically challenged into muscular demigods.

"Thanks," Clyde wheezed, trying to get his lungs working after his most recent suplex. He _had_ noticed a little more definition in his abdomen and limbs, lately… Lynn's workouts, and all the extra practice, were beginning to pay off.

"Lori will be crawling all over you in no time," Lynn chuckled, helping Clyde up off the mat. Only a handful of people were in the gym at the time, including Lincoln.

"R-really?!" Clyde asked, excited.

"Totally!" Lynn beamed, running her hands along his arms, "Look at these biceps and triceps! They're almost rock-solid, which chicks dig." Her hands drifted to his chest. "And your pecs are shaping up real nice, almost as good as Linc's, and you've only been training for a few weeks. Still, it takes more than a bod to impress a girl."

"What else does it take?" Clyde asked as he put his glasses back on. He could have asked his fathers for sports goggles, but his nearsightedness wasn't much of a hindrance in wrestling, and he didn't want his overprotective parents to coddle him.

"You have to prove you know how to use it," Lynn whispered, "You'll have to be a winner. No girl can resist a man who can dominate his opponents."

"Really?"

"Well, duh!" Lynn snorted, "Girls love athletic winners!"

"I don't know, Lynn," Clyde said, "Lori likes Bobby, and he's not really athletic or a winner…"

"What?" Lynn asked, "He's a lifeguard, so _that's_ athletic (sort of), and he manages to work, like, a dozen jobs! Sounds like a hard worker to me, and hard workers _are_ winners."

"I… guess?"

"Now enough chitchat!" Lynn went full-coach, "Time for your cooldown jog! Twenty laps around the gym, go-go-go!"

" _Twenty?!_ " Clyde almost sprinted as the jock chased him, screaming 'motivations'.

…

Lincoln furrowed his brow at what he was watching. It looked like Lynn was… feeling Clyde up? The middle Loud shook his head. No, that couldn't be right. Lynn sometimes tested his own muscles, and she probably did the same with all her 'apprentices'.

"I didn't know Clyde had a crush on all your sisters," a familiar, dreary voice said close to Lincoln, startling him. He half-expected Lucy, but was surprised to see Haiku, instead.

"What?" the white-haired preteen snorted, "No, he only has eyes for Lori."

"He doesn't seem to mind Lynn rubbing her hands all over him," Haiku noted in her unreadable monotone. Was she sad, angry, or just unaffected? With her, it was impossible to tell.

"Lynn does that with everybody," Lincoln shrugged.

"Not _that_ much," the goth pointed out, "I come in here sometimes to write poetry. I've seen her feel some guys arms, but _never_ their chests."

"You come to the gym to write poetry?" Lincoln asked in disbelief.

"I write haikus," Haiku explained, "which often revolve around nature and observation. Inspiration for poetry can come from anywhere."

Lincoln took her word for it and was about to return to watching his best friend when a question popped into his mind.

"At the dance, you two seemed to get along really well," he pointed out, "I thought that, well, with how well my other friends got along with my other dates, that maybe you two… hit it off?"

Haiku was even quieter than usual, prompting Lincoln to turn and look at her. Finally, she spoke.

"We're both in love with other people," she explained, "people who can't love us back. We got along because of it. That's all."

"Oh," Lincoln frowned, "That's a shame. You two would make a really good couple."

Haiku blinked in surprise, fighting desperately to keep a blush from her face.

"Maybe you're right about Lynn, though," Lincoln scratched his chin, "Maybe she _does_ have a thing for Clyde. Maybe I can hook them up together!"

"What?" Haiku barely maintained her deadpan, "Why?"

"I've been trying to get Clyde to quit being obsessed with Lori," Lincoln explained, "It's not healthy, and I don't want him to get hurt. It'd be _way_ better if he hooked up with a girl that liked him, right? Nobody should waste their lives chasing someone who will never love them back."

Haiku felt her eyebrow twitch at the unintentional slight.

"It's a shame you don't like him," Lincoln sighed, standing to leave now that Clyde was passed out after only twelve laps, "You two would be a way better couple. Still, as long as he has a chance with a girl, I'll be happy for him. Even if it is another one of my sisters…"

After Lincoln had departed, Haiku sighed loudly.

…

" _What_?!" Lynn's eyes were as large as dinner plates, "I do _not_ have a crush on Clyde!"

"I don't know Lynn," Lincoln said, "you never feel anyone's chests. That seems a little like a crush."

"I have a crush on Francisco, remember?" the jock said.

"The guy who doesn't even notice you?" Lincoln raised an eyebrow. Lynn's face flushed in embarrassment or anger.

"How are things with Paige?" she asked, bitterly.

"Okay, okay!" Lincoln raised his hands, defensively, "I just thought, maybe, you two could go on a date, or something."

"Why?" Lynn asked, dumbfounded.

"Clyde needs to get over Lori," Lincoln explained, "Even if things don't work out between you, well, it'll help him see that there _are_ other girls out there."

"I'm not a charity service, Linc," Lynn said, flatly.

"Fine," Lincoln shrugged, "It's a shame, too. Francisco might have gotten jealous."

Lynn narrowed her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"If you were to start dating Clyde, an up-and-coming wrestling star," Lincoln explained, smiling coyly, "Francisco might realize you're not paying attention to him anymore. I think he'd miss the way you watch him."

Lynn stared at her brother for a moment before growling in irritation.

"Okay, fine!" she said, "I will go on _one date_ with Clyde!"

"That's all I ask," Lincoln grinned.

"I'm not asking him, though," Lynn stated.

"That's no problem," Lincoln assured his sister, "Clyde will contact you shortly."

…

"Dude, I can't do that!" Clyde said over the walkie-talkie.

"What?" Lincoln demanded, "Why not?"

"She's my coach!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Lincoln facepalmed, "You two are practically the same age!"

"She's so much older, though…" Clyde muttered.

"Lori is _way_ older than Lynn!" Lincoln challenged.

"Yeah, but Lori is a woman," his friend retorted, "no! A goddess!"

"You have to do this, Clyde," Lincoln all but ordered, "You have to see there are other girls out there besides Lori."

"She's your sister, though!"

"SO IS LORI!" Lincoln growled in frustration, "Why don't you want to at least _try_ and date Lynn? Do you not like her?"

"No, she's cool," Clyde said.

"Is she not pretty enough for you?"

"What? No! She's very beautiful."

"Then why not date her?" Lincoln asked, "You two could have some real chemistry."

"But… Lori…"

"Clyde, Lori is borderline _engaged_ with Bobby," Lincoln sighed, "it's not happening. You _know_ that. Haiku said something about how you two love people who can't love you back."

"When did you talk to Haiku?" Clyde asked.

"Earlier today," the middle Loud shrugged, even though Clyde couldn't see it, "She happened to be in the gym."

"Weird," Clyde muttered, "She _never_ goes to the gym."

"She says she goes there to write haikus, sometimes," Lincoln explained, "Something about getting inspiration from nature?"

"I've never seen her there," Clyde said, "Lynn even said she'd never seen her in the gym before."

"Why did she say she goes there all the time, then?" Lincoln asked himself, quietly, before shaking his head, "Never mind. Are you going on the date with Lynn, or not?"

"Well…" Clyde sighed, "I guess. I mean, it's just one date, right?"

"Affirmative," Lincoln couldn't keep the grin out of his voice.

"Alright."

"Excellent!" Lincoln pumped his fist, "Oh, one more thing. You have to ask her out."

"Oh man, I'm terrible at that!"

"You'll do fine!"

…

The next Monday, after school…

"LINCOLN!" Lynn roared after she got home from practice, causing her siblings to duck for cover. Nobody wanted to get the way of the strongest sister's warpath.

"Hey, Lynn!" Lincoln smiled as he came downstairs, "Clyde said he asked you out! Judging by his description, I hear it went pretty w-ARGH!"

Lynn tackled her brother to the ground and forced him up into a full Nelson. Lincoln noticed she wore a taut smile, but it was quite at odds with the rage in her brown eyes.

" _Lincoln_ ~" her purr degraded into a growl, "Your friend embarrassed me in front of the guys!"

"What?!" Lincoln struggled to escape. Maybe if he dislocated his shoulders..?

"Clyde asked me out – with flowers and chocolate! – in front of the _entire_ team!" Lynn explained, "Even Francisco was there! He said _he thought it was cute_!"

Before Lincoln could respond, breaking into a cold sweat, he heard the rapid approach of his remaining sisters. Finally, he was saved!

"Clyde asked you out?" Lori asked.

" _You're_ going on a date?" Lucy asked almost on top of the eldest.

Soon, all the sisters were practically babbling on top of each other, asking Lynn questions about her and Clyde. The jock released Lincoln, backing away from her meddling siblings, breaking into a blush. Lincoln put some distance between himself and Lynn, watching the display. It reminded him of some animal documentary about a pack of coyotes taking down a bear.

"Did you say yes?" Lori seemed hopeful, "He can be cute when he's not being creepy. You two would literally make a great couple!"

"Is it true he likes wearing dresses?" Lola asked, "He can't be _that_ bad, if that's true."

"Did you say yes?" Lana asked.

"She had to!" Luan laughed, "Clyde asked her out with flowers and chocolate!"

"Who could shoot that down?" Luna added, "Takes a man with guts to do something like that."

"Everybody stop!" Lynn shouted, silencing her sisters, "Holy- I see what Lincoln means about the meddling!"

"You, like, have to give us the deets!" Leni beamed.

"Clyde cornered me after school," Lynn sighed, "I was with the team, getting ready for practice, and he just waltzes in with flowers and chocolate, nervous and dorky, and asks me out! I couldn't say no in front of all the guys like that! I'd look heartless!"

"A brilliant strategy," Lisa admitted, "Perhaps I will try that on my crush…"

"Ooo, yeah!" Luan grinned, "There's no _way_ they could reject us if we made a public declaration!"

"Girls," Lori snapped them back to focus, "Lynn isn't finished yet. Where are you two going?"

"He, uh…" Lynn blushed, "he got tickets to the minor league baseball game next week…"

"What?!" Lincoln burst out.

"Wow, that's impressive!" Lori nodded, respectfully, "Those tickets are really expensive, especially for an eleven-year-old."

Lynn was silent as her sisters continued babbling about her upcoming date. She'd never thought she'd actually be dating in school. At the very least, she never thought she'd be dating someone as classy as Clyde McBride. What was she even supposed to do on a date? All the Loud siblings were aware of Clyde's romantic gestures and oddities, and Lynn was unsure of how to match them. To her, an ideal date would be her and Francisco watching sports in their usual clothes – but with Clyde, she felt she needed to be more… sophisticated.

Wait, why did she even care?

"It's just one date," Lynn shrugged, dismissively.

"What if you two have a good time?" Leni asked, "You need to make a good impression, so you can go on another one."

"Plus, it helps to have a good reputation with the guys," Luna pointed out, "so you can get a recommendation for other dates."

"Like you'd know," Luan grinned at the scowl from her roommate.

"Lynn doesn't change for the guys, okay?" Lynn smirked, but it failed quickly. She furrowed her brow and muttered a question without recognizing the present company. "What would I wear?"

 _That_ sent her sisters into a frenzy of chatter. The jock was quickly overwhelmed and carried up the stairs by the horde, leaving Lincoln alone. Or, mostly alone.

"So," Lucy said, forcing a scream out of her brother, "Clyde asked Lynn out?"

"Yeah," Lincoln clutched his chest. Why wasn't he used to this?

"Why not another girl?" the goth asked.

"I didn't know any other girls that seemed interested," the white-haired teen shrugged, "I tried to ask Haiku, but she said something about unrequited crushes and how Clyde and she were just friends."

"…Really?" Lucy asked in her usual monotone.

"I couldn't think of any other girls," Lincoln shrugged, "so I went with Lynn, since she was feeling his body up."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Lincoln chuckled, "She's been coaching him, so she felt his muscles to see his progress. She does the same thing with me, sometimes."

"Okay then," Lucy nodded, "I need to commune with my coven."

"See you later, Spooky."

…

"I should have known this would be my fate," Haiku sighed, loudly.

Lucy had met her at their usually hangout, the gothic poetry club. They were enjoying the dark atmosphere in a secluded corner, trying to address this recent setback.

"What will you ladies be having?" the waiter asked. He was a temp that didn't fit in with the club's vibe; no makeup, and no dreary attitude.

"Coffee," Haiku muttered, "Make it blacker than my soul."

The waiter rolled his eyes and left.

"Why didn't you tell Lincoln you liked Clyde?" Lucy asked.

"I have an image to maintain," Haiku lied, but Lucy clearly didn't buy it, "Okay, so I didn't want to embarrass myself. Clyde loves Lori; I figured I didn't have a chance."

"Why did you go to the gym, then?" the younger future mortician asked.

Haiku graciously accepted her coffee from the out-of-place waiter, stirring the black ichor for some time before replying.

"I heard he had taken up wrestling," the older goth shrugged, "I… wanted to see what he looked like in a singlet."

If Lucy were another person, she might have burst into laughter at that.

"If Lynn was feeling his muscles, I imagine he's looking pretty good," Lucy noted, "He's no vampire, though."

"He could be," Haiku smiled, softly, but it faded, "What am I going to do? I can't stand the pain of having another unrequited crush – especially if it's a guy I actually have a chance with…"

"I'll talk to Lynn," Lucy said, "She doesn't seem interested; I'm sure she'll step aside if you come forward."

"Really?" Haiku seemed a little disappointed, "I already had a revenge scheme set up to tear them apart."

"Wicked," Lucy nodded once, "but that'll have to wait for another day."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2, I suppose.** **Title is still pending.** **If anyone can think of a better title, I'm open to suggestions.**

The seats weren't the best, but at least they weren't in the nosebleed section. Lynn was moderately impressed with their position in the stadium, pleased with the unobstructed view of the entire game. After the first two innings, Lynn decided to make small talk. Without taking her eyes off of the game, naturally.

"These are really good seats," the jock grinned, appreciatively, "Your dads are way cooler than I thought to get you tickets like these for a first date."

"My dads didn't get them," Clyde chuckled, "I bought them myself."

Lynn tore her eyes from the game in shock.

"H-how?" she asked, "I'm older than you, and even _I'm_ not allowed to work!"

"I'm really good with money," Clyde explained, "I've been saving up all my gift money and allowance for years for just such an occasion. I only spend a little of my savings every now and then – on fun stuff, like games and costumes."

"That's really impressive," Lynn admitted, returning to watching the game, "I wish I was that good with money."

"It's normal for kids to be bad with money," Clyde frowned a little, "Just another thing that makes me so… _not_ normal."

Lynn spared a look of sympathy at her date. As a girl obsessed with sports and being the best, she could understand not fitting into the roles society deemed appropriate for her. She was a tomboy, which by its very wording implied she was going against her designated gender role. Most girls her age were into gossip, boys, makeup, and dresses – or engaged in becoming the ideal female of their respective clicks. She was one of a handful of young ladies at her school who strived to break the mold; even her friend, Polly Pain, was a roller derby player – a sport generally associated with women.

"Being normal is overrated," Lynn said, at last, placing a comforting hand on Clyde's shoulder. She was startled when he placed his own upon it, and the warm look as his eyes met her, but she didn't dare pull away. There was something almost hypnotic in that caring stare, and in the warmth of his hand. The crack of a baseball hitting a bat snapped her out of it, and she turned away to watch the game.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Clyde asked after the third inning was over.

"A sports superstar, duh," Lynn snorted. What a silly question.

"Obviously," Clyde grinned, "but for which sport? When you go pro, you can't play them all."

Lynn was about to report with a confident 'of course I can', but she knew she couldn't. Half the sports out there had conflicting times with the other half. She thought about it a good deal, truth be told.

"I guess whichever one I get into college on," she admitted, "Soccer or baseball, most likely. I wish they'd make football unisex, though… Being the first woman in the NFL would land me in a Hall of Fame for sure."

"Is that why you're so into sports?" Clyde asked, "To become famous?"

"What?" Lynn blinked, "No! Being famous is just a cool bonus. I'm into sports because they're my _passion_." At Clyde's confused look, she continued. "A lot of people think sports are a waste of school money, and that people are too focused and obsessed on them, rather than on real issues; maybe they're right. Still, sports give me _hope_. They create heroes – men and women who overcome personal challenges, use teamwork, and persevere through impossible odds to hone their minds and bodies to the limit. The lessons they learn make them successful in anything they do! Better still, when they're successful, they often use their positions or wealth to help others, because sports are often focused on teamwork. It's just so… inspiring."

"Hope, huh?" Clyde asked. He'd never really seen sports as anything more than another way to be nerdy – just more physical than anime or studying history.

"One time," Lynn smiled at the memory, "I was sitting in a public area, watching a soccer match on television. Several foreigners stopped by to watch, too. They didn't know me, or each other, and they were from all over the world – China, Saudi Arabia, Mexico – but they stopped to watch this one game, and they cheered and even hugged each other. I couldn't understand a word they were saying – none of us could understand each other – but we were united. It was beautiful. It made me feel like, whatever problems countries have with each other, people could always bond over things like that."

"That's actually really cool," Clyde confessed, "And here all I wanted to do was be an accountant. Pretty lame, right?"

"Accountants make good money, and it's work someone has to do," Lynn shrugged, "One thing I've learned from sports is that every position on a team – and off the team – is valuable, be it the quarterback or the groundskeeper. Everybody is important."

"You're a lot cooler than I thought," Clyde grinned before slapping his forehead, "Sorry! That came out wrong."

Lynn giggled, which surprised her more than it did her date.

"I know I come off a little aggressive, but there's more to me than tackling and winning," the jock explained, "I've never really opened up about sports before; most of my siblings don't want to listen to it."

"Still, insulting my date isn't the best way to make sure there's a second one," Clyde shrugged, blushing when he realized how stupid that sounded.

"Did you _want_ a second date?" Lynn asked, half-joking and half… hopeful?

"I…" Clyde looked into Lynn's brown eyes, as sturdy as the earth and yet as soft and rich as chocolate. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He felt a stirring in his chest only one other girl had ever made him feel. "I would certainly like to hang out with you more."

Lynn sat there, unsure of how to proceed. She was all thumbs at romance – was this romance? No, it couldn't be. She loved Francisco, didn't she? It was impossible to love two guys at once. Especially Clyde – dorky, young, naïve, sweet, compassionate, handsome Clyde. Oh bugger… Some of those adjectives popped up without her thinking of them.

Before she could say anything however, she noticed all eyes in the stadium on them. Confused, she and Clyde looked at the jumbo screen and paled considerably. The kiss cam was active and, sitting squarely in a ring of hearts, was her and her date. Chanting ensued.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Lynn looked at the younger boy. He looked incredibly awkward, unsure of what to do. He was too much of a gentleman to make the first move, especially with a girl he knew wasn't interested. Lynn licked her lips at the sweet, vulnerable lad, then moved in close. Clyde felt his mind blank; he had to fight the urge to begin acting like a malfunctioning robot, and he already felt the blood vessels in his nose start to give way. Still, his instinct was to move in closer. They closed their eyes and their lips met.

Fireworks went off in their heads, filling them with a tingling sensation that they had never experienced before, despite the kiss being a tame, chaste thing. No tongue, no fondling, not even a stroke on the cheek. The two merely tilted their heads and let their lips gently push together, yet it was enough to send their minds reeling. They didn't even hear the cheering around them, or notice when the audience's attention had returned to the game. When they broke apart, they were both red in the face. Lynn noticed the blood running down Clyde's face and felt it on her own lips; by instinct she licked it up, used to the taste of her own blood from sports injuries.

"Th-that was my first kiss," Clyde confessed, not sure of what else to say.

"Mine too," Lynn gave a weak grin.

The two sat in their seats, intensely staring at the game to avoid looking at each other, but neither of them could figure out what was going on anymore. The game went on in a rush, and Lynn was mildly disappointed that the home team was several points behind by the ninth inning. Confused, she let her anger get the best of her and started yelling at the players, occasionally muttering obscenities. She noticed the startled looks Clyde gave her, felt embarrassed for making a scene even if he was the only one to notice, and it only made her angrier.

 _He probably thinks I look ugly, angry,_ she thought.

"Actually, I don't think it's possible for you to _ever_ be ugly," Clyde said, pushing his glasses back into place. Lynn could have died from embarrassment, realizing she'd spoken her thoughts aloud.

"I don't usually act like this," the jock lied, blushing even more at the compliment.

"It's fine if you do," Clyde chuckled, "Lincoln can get pretty worked up about things, too, so I'm used to it. It's actually kind of cute that you're so passionate about it."

Normally a guy calling her – or more specifically, her passion – cute would send her over the edge, especially when her blood was boiling, but coming from Clyde it set her heart fluttering. Oh God, _what was happening to her?!_ The date wasn't going how she'd expected at all…

"I'm sorry," Clyde apologized after Lynn's continued silence, "I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

"What?" Lynn asked, surprised, "No! You're great! I'm having a wonderful time, actually."

"You're just saying that," the afroed preteen sighed, "I know you only agreed to this because Lincoln pressured you into it. I know you only kissed me because of the kiss cam."

"Lincoln didn't 'pressure' me into anything," Lynn scoffed, "and I kissed you because you're cute."

They stared at each other, wide-eyed. Lynn steeled her resolve, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, I said it!"

Clyde wasn't sure how to process that, so he only managed to give a goofy grin that made Lynn's face blush even further. The final inning was wrapping up, so they turned their attention back to the game. The home team was still down a few points, but the bases were loaded at least. Lynn watched, intently, as the last batter came up. If he struck out, the home team would lose… Even Clyde felt the tension as the batter struck once, then twice. The whole stadium was deathly silent, broken only by hisses and whispers. The batter swung his bat a final time.

 _CRACK!_

Lynn clutched the railing to keep herself standing. Was this really happening, or was it all just a dream? The ball flew higher and higher before flying out of the park. The stadium erupted into cheers at the momentous home run, the loaded bases jogging home and placing the home team in the lead at the _very end_ of the match! Lynn joined in the celebrations, whooping, and hollering, barely noticing that Clyde was applauding, too. She felt so happy! The day couldn't get any better if it tried! Out of impulse, she wrapped her arms around her date and jumped with him, tears streaming down her eyes.

Then she kissed him again, another tame peck on the lips that he returned with all the class he could. Good gravy, she could get used to those warm lips… They broke apart, staring into each other's eyes, almost able to perceive little hearts. Clyde felt lightheaded. Had he ever really felt this way for any other girl? The name 'Lori' popped into his head, but who was that again? All he could think of was the jock standing before him – sporty, aggressive, captivating, victorious, successful, yet also intelligent, compassionate, loyal Lynn Loud.

And very beautiful, to boot.

"Th-this has to be one of the greatest days of my life," he said, still grinning like a fool.

"Y-yeah," Lynn's face split into her own dorky grin, "Um, so… about that second date?"

"A-anywhere you want!" Clyde said, almost desperately, a light in his eyes.

"Actually, I was thinking of taking _you_ somewhere," Lynn rubbed the back of her head, "I prefer to go Dutch, so to speak. You took me where I wanted to go, so I want to take you somewhere _you_ want to go."

"Really?" Clyde was shocked. He racked his brain for something to do, something that he wanted to do that might be romantic and might entertain his date. A comic convention or sci-fi movie was probably out… Didn't girls like shopping? "We could go antiquing!"

Immediately he facepalmed. What kind of suggestion was that?

"Sounds fun," Lynn said. In truth, she hated shopping – especially at antique stores – but it was what Clyde wanted to do, and there was always the possibility of finding some vintage sporting goods. Besides, going to a few antique shops was _way_ cheaper than a minor league baseball game. "I'll see if Lori can give us a ride. Next weekend sound good?"

"Who's Lori?" Clyde asked, dumbly, lost in Lynn's eyes, "I mean, yeah! That sounds great!"

"Cool!" Lynn said, more excited than she intended.

The two rode to the Loud household in silence, Clyde's fathers grinning like gossiping schoolgirls at their two passengers. Oh, how Clyde dreaded the conversations to come… Finally, they pulled up to the driveway and let Clyde walk Lynn to her door. They stood, awkwardly, hands behind their backs and faces flushed. Lynn felt unnaturally giddy, which worried her, while Clyde tried to avoid looking into those beautiful, ensnaring brown eyes.

"I had a great time today," Lynn confessed, "I'm glad Linc suggested it."

"Y-yeah," Clyde cleared his throat, "I really owe him one."

They stood for a little bit longer, Lynn rocking on her heels. Clyde wondered why she was dressed differently than what she usually wore; her jersey was replaced by a simple red blouse, and her shorts with capris. Her cleats were replaced with new sneakers, and she had worn a very small amount of makeup. She had seemed very uncomfortable in it the whole day.

"You know," he said, steadying himself, "you don't have to do this for me."

"Do what?" Lynn asked, confused.

"Dress up like this," Clyde gestured at her clothes, then smiled, "You're beautiful, no matter what you wear. I'd rather you dress however makes you comfortable, rather than try to impress me."

Lynn blushed, her heart fluttering at the words, but she chose to mess with her date, putting on a scowl and crossing her arms.

"Who says I'm trying to impress you?" she asked, "How do you know dressing like this isn't what makes me comfortable?"

"I'm sorry!" panic dripped into Clyde's voice, "I-I just thought that, since you're always wearing shorts and a jersey, you preferred dressing more casual! I didn't mean to-"

Lynn laughed, unable to keep up the charade anymore. She mussed a hand through Clyde's hair, slightly fascinated with the texture.

"I'm just messing with you," the jock moved her hands to the younger boy's shoulders. They stared into each other's eyes for a little longer before Lynn leaned in close to his ear. "You know, it's traditional for a boy to kiss a girl goodnight after a good date."

Clyde's face heated up and he thought he heard his glasses crack, but he nodded dumbly. Their noses brushed alongside each other before their lips met in the third peck that night. They broke away, Clyde leaving for his fathers' car, and Lynn watching him depart. After the car pulled away, she sighed dreamily and entered her home. The mood was ruined as soon as she saw all of her siblings grinning and waiting for her in the living room.

"Don't-" she tried to say but was overwhelmed in a second.

"How did it go?" Lori asked.

"Did he like the clothes?" Leni said right on top of her.

"Did he wear a dress?" Lola wondered.

A dozen questions were asked in a second, and the rate only increased. Even Lincoln was asking questions, excited that his best friend was actually dating his sister – and not dead, yet. Only Lucy held her peace, hanging back and waiting for the storm to pass.

"It was okay," Lynn said, nonchalantly, but she couldn't keep a smug smile from her lips. Her siblings squeaked in delight, demanding details. "Nothing much happened. We watched the game – which was _amazing_ – and then he dropped me off."

"There _has_ to be more than that," Lori grinned. Her siblings leaned in, expectantly, and Lynn pretended to study the back of her hand. Her own smile was far too proud of itself.

"Well," she confessed, "we were on the _kiss cam_."

Lynn only thought her siblings were gushing before; even Lincoln joined into the prancing and high-pitched squeals. Lucy was quieter than usual, but the jock hardly noticed her roommate.

"Talk about first base!" Luan nudged Luna, "Get it?"

"You are a total minx," Lori chided, but the wink in her eye said she wholeheartedly approved.

"I, like, had a good feeling about you two," Leni beamed.

"Bro, you've got a talent at matchmaking," Luna said, before leaning in conspiratorially, "So… I've got this friend at school – let's call her 'Muna' – who likes another student…"

"Hold on, now," Lincoln backed away as most of his sisters turned on him, "I'm no matchmaker!"

"I don't know, Linc," Luan grinned, "this isn't the first time you've helped people into a good pairing."

"You got all your friends – and _our_ friends – dates at the dance," Luna pointed out.

" _And_ you got Lucy and Rocky to hang out," Lana added.

Suddenly the focus shifted to Lincoln as the single sisters wished he'd work his matchmaking voodoo on them and their crushes. Lynn was glad for the break and she quickly escaped upstairs, taking them two at a time and skipping – _skipping!_ – to her room. She hardly noticed that Lucy followed her, or that her spooky roommate was watching her dance. Lynn stopped, paling when she noticed the witness.

"Heeeeey," the jock slowly adjusted her posture to make it look like she had been standing the entire time.

"Hey," Lucy said simply, closing the door behind her, "It sounds like you had a really good time tonight."

"Oh yeah," Lynn beamed, "I've never felt so happy before! Clyde's such a sweetheart. I honestly can't wait until our next date."

" _Next_ date?" Lucy asked. Uh-oh.

"Yeah," Lynn shrugged, "He wants to go antiquing, which is kind of dorky, but he took me to a baseball game even though it's not his thing. You know, before tonight, I would _never_ have thought Clyde was so… so… _perfect_!"

Lynn fell back on her bed, utterly love-struck. Lucy frowned in concern.

"I take it you're falling for Clyde?"

"What?" Lynn sat up, blushing, "N-no!" then, much quieter, "Is it that obvious?"

"Kind of."

"Ugh!" Lynn put a pillow over her face, "I don't like being so… _girly_. Clyde makes me feel, I don't know, like a… like…"

"Like a princess?" Lucy suggested, eliciting a groan from her older sister.

"Yeah," Lynn sighed, removing the pillow, "I never thought I'd actually enjoy feeling like that, but what do you know?"

"What about Francisco?" Lucy asked.

"Oh yeah, that…" Lynn grimaced, "I still have a _huge_ crush on him, and if he were to ask me out, I'd be tempted, but… Clyde's so kind, and cute. Have you felt his muscles? I can't stop thinking about him wrapping those firm arms around me. Is that normal?"

"Yes," Lucy admitted.

"Look who I'm talking to about normal," Lynn muttered with a smile, "Anyway, it hardly matters how I feel about Francisco. He's clearly not interested, and Clyde and I really hit it off."

"What if Clyde was asked out by another girl?" Lucy tried to word things carefully; things weren't going according to plan.

"Who, Lori?" Lynn seemed worried, "Sh-she wouldn't do that to me. She's not even interested in my stud!"

"Your… stud?" Lucy's eyes widened beneath her bangs. Dear God, she was already experimenting with pet names.

"If Lori, or _whoever_ , tried to take him from me, I'd just have to show him why he ought to stick with me over anyone else!" Lynn jumped off her bed, striking a triumphant pose, "And I'd have to teach the homewrecker a lesson in sportsmanship."

"Right," Lucy made for the door, slowly.

"Wait, Luc," Lynn spoke up, worry in her voice, "do… do you know if some other girl likes him? Is there another girl out there that's going to try and ruin this for me?"

Lucy held her silence, unsure of how to respond. She might have communed with spirits and demons, possibly even invoked the devil, and made Faustian bargains with Elder Gods, but the goth still had morals; she couldn't just lie to her sister, and she certainly couldn't plot to break her heart. By the same token, of course, Haiku was one of her closest friends; she couldn't simply sit by and watch her self-destruct because she missed a chance with her soulmate. If Lucy was certain of anything, it was that Clyde and Haiku belonged together, yet… Lynn was happy – happier than Lucy had ever seen her – and she didn't want to ruin that.

"I can't read the future, Lynn," Lucy half-lied. She was something of an expert diviner; she had read the _I Ching_ , communed with the Ouija board, and foresaw events through the Tarot. Still, nothing was absolute.

"Y-yeah," Lynn chuckled, "I guess it was silly of me to ask. Where you headed off to, anyway?"

"I wanted to call one of my friends before bed," Lucy explained, "We have to plan for the next meeting of the Morticians' Club."

"Have fun," Lynn said, dismissively, still wrapped up in her own world.

…

"Then my failure is complete," Haiku sighed, despondently, as Lucy finished relating what had happened over the phone.

"It does look pretty grim," Lucy confessed.

"I guess I have no choice," the older girl tsked, "your roommate has forced my hand; I shall invoke the dark spirits to rip them apart."

"I'd prefer you didn't," Lucy said, "Lynn is really happy. I can't be a part of something that would break her heart."

"I understand," Haiku sighed again, "and I can't do something that would hurt you. What do you suggest I do, then?"

Lucy thought about it for a moment.

"Maybe you could get Lynn jealous," the younger goth suggested, "by dating the true object of her affections: Francisco."

"That blockhead?" Haiku actually smiled at the thought, "He was completely oblivious to Lynn's crush on him, and frankly he doesn't seem the least bit interested in dating. Besides, why would a thirteen-year-old jock date an eleven-year-old bookworm?"

"I don't know," Lucy snorted, "ask Lynn."

"Touché," Haiku conceded, "Alright. I suppose it's worth a shot. The worst that can happen is he says no, right?"

"Right," Lucy agreed, "Best of luck, my sister of the night."

"Bad dreams, my sister of the night," Haiku responded before the two goths hung up.

Haiku tapped her fingers together in thought. Francisco, huh? How to ask a meathead like that out and get him to agree to a date with a girl two years younger than him? Guys in school seemed to have an aversion to dating younger girls; something about being accused of 'robbing the cradle' unnerved them. Haiku found that odd, considering how many older men were interested in younger women; even odder, considering her and Lucy had a thing for older men.

"First Francisco," she muttered to herself with a sly grin, "then Clyde."

…

Francisco couldn't explain what was bothering him so much. He was a credit to his team, or so the coach always said. His grades were above average, though he supposed they could be a lot better. He had friends, almost no enemies, and while his family wasn't wealthy, they weren't destitute, either. No, something different was bothering him – something he never noticed or thought about. It seemed like one of his good friends was acting different towards him and it was making him feel weird.

When the young boy Francisco later found out was named Clyde McBride had asked Lynn out in front of the team, he'd joined in on heckling their female comrade. It was standard for them to poke fun at romance, even if they did all secretly sympathize with the kid; nobody wanted to see her reject him and break his heart. When she had agreed to a date, though, Francisco had felt slightly hurt for a reason he couldn't define. He'd racked his brain over it for the rest of the week, noticing that Lynn Loud seemed more distant than usual.

Actually, she seemed about as distant as the rest of his friends, which made him realize how _close_ she had always been to him. Where she seemed to hang on his every word and laugh at any little joke that came to his teenage brain, now she seemed as preoccupied as the rest of the team. He had also noticed a distinct lack of physical contact, which until that moment he had taken for granted. There were no more playful slaps on the rear at practice, fewer feeling of flexed muscles, and even their arm-clasping and handshakes seemed rarer. Francisco had never noticed how much she actually did towards him, in speech and action, until she had quit doing it.

The sudden loss of contact seemed… odd.

He had gone with some of his friends to the minor league baseball game to get his mind off of the subject. For a moment, he had suspected Lynn might have been the one who left that anonymous love letter for him to find, but that would have been crazy. The Lynn-sanity? Write a _love letter_? Unthinkable. At the game, he'd seen Lynn and Clyde on the kiss cam; he hadn't realized his teeth were grinding or his fists were clenched until well after it was over. For the rest of the game, he'd been distracted, his eyes looking at the couple from time to time.

"Why do I care?" he asked the ceiling as he lie in bed, "I mean, she's just another one of the guys, right?"

With that thought, Francisco realized she wasn't a guy. For the first time, he realized Lynn was a girl – a _woman_ – who just happened to be interested in the same stuff as him, who happened to like spending time with him, and who he happened to miss. Eyes widening, he was struck by the realization that she had been flirting with him several times.

"Oh man," he grabbed the nearest solid object – a textbook – and slammed it against his head, repeatedly, "I am so _stupid_!"

With the realizations, he began to see Lynn Loud in a different light – a light that accented her femininity, her strength, their shared interests, and he felt his throat go dry. Was Lynn cute? How did he never notice it before?! Oh well, that chance was blown. He felt unreasonably angry towards Clyde, but he couldn't hold onto that rage; it was his own idiocy that had lost him the girl.

"Next cute girl that comes along," he swore to himself, "I will _not_ make the same mistake I made with Lynn!"

Resolved to this course of action, Francisco had no idea what he was walking into.

 **A few notes.** **Two instances in this chapter are based on real things that happened to me.** **I happened to be watching a soccer match at college during lunch, and a bunch of foreign exchange students from different countries gathered around to watch; they couldn't understand each other, but they were all smiling and cheering together.** **It was pretty cool.** **The other instance was the baseball game; I actually got to watch a game like that, in person, where the home team was down, bases were loaded, two outs in the final inning, and one homerun won the whole shebang.**

 **As for characters, I'm sort of grasping at straws here.** **Francisco hasn't been explored a lot, yet, so I'm assuming he's oblivious, but not a bad guy.** **If he were a bad guy, I doubt Lynn would be interested in him.** **I know the romance between Clyde and Lynn might seem a little fast, but this date is supposed to be one of those "this went way better than I could have imagined" moments that impairs people's judgement.**


	3. Chapter 3

**To clarify, Lynn licked up the blood on her face, not the blood on Clyde's.** **Doing the latter might have been awkward – at least on a first date** **?**

 **Also, I've been informed Clyde is a successful and passionate baseball player in the show; I feel sort of silly writing him as an anti-sports guy…** **I tried to rectify that mistake a little in the next chapter.**

Monday was as slow and boring as it always was. Francisco turned in his homework and did his quizzes with his usual anxiety. Failure meant no more sports. As usual, of course, his grades were good; he might not have aced his work, but B's were something to brag about. Around lunchtime, he avoided sitting with the team. Lynn was the center of attention at their usual table, their teammates pressing her about her date, and her casually avoiding answering them all while wearing a content smile. And making doe eyes to the bespectacled boy across the cafeteria.

Knowing how _well_ their date had gone, and how Lynn had once looked at him like that, Francisco chose to avoid dealing with the sudden wave of jealousy boiling in his veins. He still remembered the promise he made to himself – how he wouldn't make the same mistake with the next cute girl that came his way.

"Hey," a dreary voice shocked him so badly he spilt the meatballs out of his sub.

 _Speaking of cute girls_ , he thought as he turned to face the newcomer.

He'd seen her around the halls, occasionally, a spooky girl younger than him and part of the school's small goth community. Like all goths, he avoided them out of a combination of fear and distaste; they were into some spooky stuff.

"Hey," he said, casually, "Is this your seat? Sorry."

"It isn't," Haiku said, "I wanted to talk to you, actually."

"Me?" Francisco was surprised as he cleaned up the mess that had been his lunch, "Why?"

"I wrote a poem," the goth said, holding out a piece of paper, "but I thought it'd be better if I was blunt about it. I think you're… kind of cute."

Francisco blinked. _No_ girl had ever said that to him; even if Lynn had a crush on him, she'd never said anything about his looks. In truth, Francisco thought he looked a little unattractive. Maybe a _lot_ unattractive.

"Th-thanks," he muttered, trying to focus on cleaning his tray. Why was he so bad at talking to girls?

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime," Haiku suggested, "It doesn't have to be a date. I'd just like to… get to know you."

"That sounds cool and all," Francisco looked at the dreary girl, ready to reject her. He wanted no part with a younger girl – the word _jailbait_ came to mind – but hadn't he pledged to himself he wouldn't make the same mistake twice? Also, the more he looked at her, the more he realized she _was_ quite attractive. Her pale skin was flawless, and she had perfected the art of applying her ludicrous makeup. Something about her clothing made his face heat up a little; not many girls in this day and age wore dresses. "You know what? Yeah, that sounds like fun."

Haiku blinked in surprise. He had accepted much faster than she thought he would. She had actually planned out a whole plot involving using her feminine wiles and charm, maybe even acting depressed or causing a scene to get him to agree. She was slightly disappointed things were going so easily.

"Cool," Haiku said. They looked at each other for a bit, neither having an idea what to do.

"Did you have a place in mind?" Francisco asked.

"What?" Haiku said, "Oh, um. We could have lunch, sometime. Jean Juan's French-Mex? Or is that too romantic for… just hanging out?"

Francisco felt his face heat up at the way she said 'romantic'. How was this eleven-year-old girl able to speak in a depressed monotone, yet also say certain words with an almost seductive inflection? He cleared his throat, giving an idiot grin.

"I, uh, yeah, that sounds great," he agreed. He didn't have much choice; he _would not_ let another chance slip through his fingers!

"How did you want to meet up?" the young goth asked, "I live close to the restaurant, so I can walk if you just wanted to meet up there."

"Wait, you live near Jean Juan's?" Francisco laughed, "Get out of here! Me too! Where?"

Haiku gave a rough approximation of her address; no need to let a strange boy know exactly where she lived. The jock's eyes widened.

"Wow, we're practically neighbors. Spooky," he said, "If you wanted, I could come by your house and we could walk there together."

"I wouldn't be opposed to it," Haiku smiled, softly, before telling Francisco her address. In return, he let her know his. They really were neighbors; less than three houses down from one another.

"Great! I have practice every day after school, but on weekends it starts and ends earlier," Francisco explained, "Would you like lunch or dinner?"

"Lunch would be best," Haiku said, "They offer specials; no need to hurt our wallets."

"I heard that," the jock chuckled, "Alright then, I guess I'll see you Saturday, around noon."

"See you then," Haiku nodded a goodbye. As she turned to leave, she was surprised the jock had wrapped a hand around her wrist. It was a startlingly gentle grip, yet firm enough that she had to notice it.

"You don't have to leave," Francisco blushed at how desperate that sounded, "I mean, there's still a good fifteen minutes for lunch, and you said you wanted to get to know me… You could sit here and we could talk for a bit; unless you had somewhere better to be?"

Haiku felt conflicted for a moment. Was Francisco actually interested in her? She only wanted to date him to make Lynn jealous and potentially drive her from Clyde. Briefly she questioned the morality of tearing apart one relationship just so she could have her love. Very briefly. No, this course of action was fine. After all, if Lynn realized she still loved Francisco, and Francisco fell for her, then nobody lost. Haiku gets Clyde, Francisco gets Lynn. Everybody wins.

"Nothing comes to mind," Haiku smiled softly as she sat down next to her not-boyfriend. Her eyes flickered towards Lynn for a second, very pleased that her unknowing rival had torn her eyes from Clyde to watch them. Even more pleasing, Clyde seemed to be watching them, too.

Yes… Everybody wins.

…

Lynn felt very odd at what she was seeing. Francisco, her longtime crush who had never once noticed her advances, was suddenly interested in Lucy's goth friend? The whole time, Lynn had assumed Francisco was just dense – that he misinterpreted the way she acted towards him – but now it seemed clear that he was interested in an entirely different sort of girl. Younger, classier, bookish girls with flawless pale skin, who wore dresses and makeup. She struggled to fight down the sudden sense that she was ugly – that she wasn't good enough for her crush.

Then, with some fury, she thrashed those thoughts and cast them out. Who needed that jerk, anyway? Lynn had a great guy – the _perfect_ guy! Strong, reliable, yet sweet and soft. A man who could almost keep up with her, who knew a decent amount about sports, and who had a willingness to learn new things; yet, he was also a gentleman, compassionate, a lover of life, and so generous.

And so very cute.

Yet, despite all that, Lynn couldn't completely banish the thoughts eating into her psyche…

…

Clyde had been exchanging looks of longing with Lynn from across the lunchroom until he noticed her attention had drifted. His own eyes turned where she was watching and he was surprised to see Haiku and one of the baseball players talking. Blushing and talking, more than once. He was so confused, he actually brought it up to Lincoln.

"Oh, are we talking again?" the white-haired teen asked, sarcastically, "I thought you'd continue your telepathic conversation with my sister."

"Don't be like that," Clyde chided, "You're the one who insisted we go on that date."

"I didn't think you two would hit it off _that_ well," Lincoln snorted, "Anyway, what was your question?"

"Did you know Haiku was interested in that Francisco guy?"

"Huh, really?" Lincoln raised his eyebrows, "I guess her unrequited crush _wasn't_ impossible, after all."

"He's not her unrequited crush," Clyde explained, "Haiku has – had? – a crush on a 200-year-old vampire."

"Oh, that makes more sense," Lincoln muttered, "I guess she got over it, though why she's hanging out with him and not you is beyond me. I could have sworn she had a crush on you."

"What?" Clyde gaped, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because she said you two were just friends," Lincoln shrugged, "Besides, you were obsessed with Lori – and now you're obsessed with Lynn. Clearly Haiku likes Francisco now, anyway, so what's it matter? Everybody wins."

Paige walked by, completely oblivious to Lincoln watching her.

"Almost everybody," he sighed.

"I guess you're right," Clyde chuckled, mirthlessly. Still, Lynn didn't seem entirely happy that Francisco was with another girl, and that got him curious. "Did Lynn like Francisco? I mean, before our date?"

"Huh?" Lincoln stopped eating, "Oh, yeah. I mean, enough to write him a love poem. Long story."

"Oh," Clyde said, sadly. The way she stared – or rather glared – at Francisco suggested she wasn't entirely over that crush. Was she only dating him because he was a convenient alternative? The thought made him feel awful, but Lincoln was too absorbed in watching his own crush to notice his friend's distress.

He wouldn't let another suave, active, Latin man steal another Loud girl from him though. If Lynn still had feelings for Francisco, well, Clyde would just have to up his game…

…

The rest of the week went by smoothly. Francisco and Haiku made it a habit to eat lunch together, talking about anything that came to mind. The subjects were varied, and both children were surprised to learn the other wasn't one-dimensional. Haiku had interests outside of gothic culture and poetry, and Francisco had interests outside of sports. There was some overlap between their interests, particularly in horror movies, which they talked about at length.

Slowly, they found themselves researching each other's interests. Francisco found himself reading poetry, particularly Haiku's namesake, after she had introduced him to Japanese sports and the rich warrior-poet culture of the island nation. Haiku, herself, had begun looking into various American sports after Francisco's repeated stories about horrible injuries – a morbid curiosity that opened the door for new interests. By Friday, they were already impressing each other with their newfound knowledge.

"So, what do you think?" Francisco asked, looking over Haiku's shoulder as she read from the paper he'd handed her.

"The middle line is supposed to be seven syllables in length, not six," Haiku smiled, "but it flows very well, and conveys a lot for so few words. You have the talent, alright."

"Aw, nuts, seven?" the jock tsked, but grinned, "Really? You think it's good besides that?"

"If there's one thing I know," the goth turned those half-lidded eyes on her target, "it's good poetry – and _that_ is good poetry."

"Gee, thanks!" Francisco smiled, "Coming from you, that means a lot."

"I actually wrote you a poem," Haiku said, handing a paper to him, and watching him read it. She was pleased with his surprised reaction, and even more so with his warm smile.

"I… didn't know you knew so much about sports," he confessed, "or about my own performance."

"I had to do some research," Haiku confessed, "but you're quite the impressive athlete. I can see why Lynn likes you."

She almost facepalmed at the slip-up, and at the hopeful shock on Francisco's face as he looked at her. Lynn had told Lucy that in confidence, and Lucy had told Haiku. Letting that fact slip was a betrayal of trust two times over, made all the worse since it was to the actual object of affection.

"She does?" the jock asked, sparing a glance at Lynn. Clyde was at the jock table, talking to her about something. He turned from them, frowning. "It doesn't matter, anyway. She's moved on, obviously."

"Do you like her?" Haiku asked, "I won't be mad if you do; we're not dating," then, with a sly smile, "Yet, anyway."

"To be honest, I never noticed girls until recently," Francisco sighed, handing Haiku her poem back, "I took Lynn's crush on me for granted and didn't even think about it until she'd moved onto Clyde. I swore I'd never make that same mistake again."

"Is that why you agreed to hang out with me?" the goth couldn't help some surprise dripping into her voice.

"Well," Francisco chuckled, nervously, "yeah. I normally don't hang out with girls, but you said you thought I was cute – which I'm not – and I didn't want to, you know, ruin a second chance…"

As he trailed off, Haiku furrowed her brow. Something he had said bothered her.

"What do you mean you're not cute?" she asked.

"I've got a bit of a messed-up face," the jock shrugged, "I'm not pretty. Frankly, I'm surprised Lynn was interested in me. I mean, look at this mug! Not exactly the kind of face they'd put on breakfast cereal."

Even though he put himself down with a smile and jokes, Haiku felt her hands clench in anger. If there was one thing being an outcast had bred in her, it was a protectiveness of her friends. It was all-too-common for her fellow goths, prone to misery, to wallow in self-despair, insulting themselves in fits of self-loathing. She hated to see the people she cared about – friends, lovers, family – think they were anything less than perfect.

"You're a very handsome young man," she said, quiet yet fierce, "I won't tolerate you putting yourself down like that. If you say you're not attractive, then you're calling Lynn – and me – liars."

Francisco blinked at the hard stare and strong words he was receiving. He felt an odd mix of guilt and comfort, as if he had done something wrong but also like he had needed the chastising. Or, more likely, that he had needed the reassurance.

"Sorry," he gave a weak smile.

Haiku stroked his cheek, black nails running along the curves of his face and dipping under his chin. They locked eyes. His were a beautiful amber that reminded her of fossils and honey; hers were… red? Francisco blinked, breaking the trance between them.

"Are you wearing contacts?" he asked. He felt his heart sink when she removed her hand from his face.

"Y-yes," Haiku said, surprised she had almost fallen into those pools of honey. Who was she kidding? She _had_ fallen into them. "Why?"

"I…" the jock blushed, averting his gaze, "I kind of want to see what your eyes look like without them. I bet they're… very pretty."

Haiku felt a blush coming on and struggled to fight it down. No. No, no, no! The strange blooming in her chest was _not_ part of the plan! Unable to stop her shaking hands, she silently removed the contacts, hiding her eyes as she did so. She could feel Francisco watching her, equally silent. When she had finished, eyes closed to hide their true color, she felt the boy's hand stretch out towards her. Her breath hitched in expectation, but he only let his thumb graze her cheek before stopping and retracting.

She opened her eyes.

"Just like I thought," Francisco gave a goofy grin, "They're pretty."

Haiku couldn't contain her blush this time. She had never really liked her real eye color. They were an extremely pale, yet piercing blue – like ice chips – which stood out sharply from her pale skin. She had looked like a ghost for most of her childhood, which had caused teasing. Even now, she felt ugly looking at them in the mirror; sharp, soul-tearing, icy eyes that seemed to stare through everything. Like the eyes of a hawk, or some soulless monster.

And here was a boy calling them _pretty_.

"You're just saying that," she muttered.

"I'm serious!" Francisco insisted, "In fact, if it wouldn't bother you too much… when we go to lunch tomorrow, would you mind not wearing contacts? I'd prefer to see the real you."

Haiku felt the blooming in her chest and wanted to scream. No, things weren't going to plan at all. She nodded dumbly, not trusting her voice to work properly. Why was she wearing contacts, again?

…

"I _cannot_ believe I'm doing this," Lincoln muttered, trying to act like he belonged in the high school. That was next to impossible, of course. He was nearly half the size of everyone else, and his striking white hair drew eyes faster than honey drew flies. How had Luna talked him into this?

Sighing, he approached Luna's friends and paused. There was a boy and a girl, both roughly Luna's age, talking about music. Luna had been really vague with the details of her crush, only mentioning blonde hair and the name Sam. The girl had the blonde hair, but… Luna wasn't in to girls, was she? Lincoln could still remember how she blushed and panted over that Hugh guy, just like all his sisters. Come to think of it, the guy Sam was talking to looked a little like Hugh, so logically that must be Sam. Maybe he had misheard the part about blonde hair?

Taking a deep breath and preparing to degrade himself for the benefit of his sister's love live, Lincoln rapidly approached the two teenagers, getting their attention with a cough. Both looked at him; the girl wearing a sisterly grin and the boy raising an eyebrow, questioningly.

"Who let the preteen into the high school?" the boy asked without malice; just a genuine curiosity.

"Dude, that's Luna's brother," the girl explained, "Lincoln, right?"

"Yes," Lincoln said before turning to face the boy, "My sisters have this crazy idea that I'm some kind of matchmaker. Luna has a crush on you, Sam, and she wasn't sure how to approach you about it. She wrote you a secret love poem and everything, and she said you really liked it. She thinks you're really cute, and she'd love to hang out with you, sometime. On a date. Because she likes you."

Both teens blinked. The boy's eyes slid to the girl who was blushing, mouth agape. Several other students had overheard and stopped to watch. Lincoln fidgeted, wondering why the guy was taking so long to respond. To his surprise, the girl spoke.

"W-wow," she said, "I never knew she felt that way."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Me either," the boy confessed, "Man Sam, and here I thought _I_ was the lady-killer in the group."

" _You're_ Sam?!" Lincoln's eyes widened as he turned to face the girl.

"Yeah," Sam said. She narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. "Is that a problem?"

"N-no!" Lincoln said, hurriedly, "I just didn't realize my sister was into… That is, I didn't think she'd…" He realized they were drawing a crowd and glared daggers into them. "Do you mind?!"

Despite his young age, the fierce determination of brother defending his sister's privacy was enough to drive the high schoolers away. Sam was a little impressed by that feat.

"I'm feeling like a third wheel, here," the boy stretched and quickly absconded, "See you later, dudes!"

"You were saying?" Sam asked, still unsure of Lincoln's views on his sister's sexuality.

"I didn't know Luna was, what's the word?" he tapped his chin, "Not gay… not lesbian… What is it when you like both boys and girls?"

"Bisexual?" Sam suggested.

"Yeah! That's it!" Lincoln snapped his fingers, "Anyway, I didn't know she was bisexual. It just surprised me, is all. I'm not judging her; my best friend's parents are gay. I just don't understand why she wouldn't tell any of us…"

Sam wondered that herself.

"Is she ashamed of loving me?" the blonde asked.

"Oh, no," Lincoln chuckled as he shook his head, "No, she's head-over-heels for you. She hesitated to give you a love letter because she was worried she wasn't good enough for you. I mean, she _still_ doesn't think she's good enough for you – that's why she sent me."

Sam frowned at that. Luna loved her? Luna was head-over-heels for her? Luna didn't think she was good enough for her? And after all the work Sam put into that love letter, too… In retrospect, maybe she should have addressed it 'Luna Loud' instead of 'L. Loud', given that everyone in the household had similar names. The news had been so uplifting at first, that her unrequited crush was requited after all, but… now she was concerned for her longtime friend and crush. She never would have suspected Luna of lacking self-confidence.

"Was there anything else to her message?" Sam asked.

"Well, now that you mention it…" Lincoln laughed, nervously.

Before Sam could question it, she heard the strumming of an acoustic guitar. A hoarse voice started singing, and every word made Sam's heart soar.

" _There is someone walking behind you._ _Turn around, look at me._ "

Sam turned to watch an approaching Luna. Despite the blush and obvious anxiety burning on her face, the aspiring rock star kept her voice steady. Students were watching, some even filming. None of them poked fun at her.

" _There is someone watching your footsteps._ _Turn around, look at me._ _There is someone who really needs you, here's my heart in my hand!_ _Turn around, look at me, understand, understand!_ "

Luna stopped in front of Sam, forcing herself to maintain eye contact despite her embarrassment. Sam couldn't look away.

" _That there's someone to stand beside you._ _Turn around, look at me._ _And there's someone to love and guide you._ _Turn around, look at me._ _Oh, I've waited, but I'll wait forever, for you to come to me!_ _Look at someone who really loves you!_ _Yeah, really loves you!_ _Turn around!_ _Look at me!_ "

Luna's playing slowly drifted off as Sam only stared, wide-eyed and blushing. The students began to disperse now that the show was over. A few of the more conservative-minded students looked ready to taunt or sneer, but the glares from Lincoln made them think twice; like roaches, they slunk away. Lincoln coughed, snapping both girls out of their stupor.

"D-did you like it?" Luna asked, quietly.

" _Turn Around, Look at Me_ ," Sam noted, "Written by Jerry Capehart, first performed in 1961 by Glen Campbell. Several covers by the Lettermen and the Bee Gees, but it sounds like you went with the Vogues' version."

Luna felt her breath hitch at the musical goddess before her. Who else besides the two of them could know so much about the art?

"It was very fitting," Sam smiled, "and very touching. I was worried there, for a minute, that you'd hide behind your brother the whole time instead of talking to me face-to-face, but I never expected you to just throw it all out there like that."

"I can't take credit for that," Luna rubbed the back of her head, "Linc suggested I make a statement, and seeing how we both love music…"

"You're very suave for an eleven-year-old, aren't you?" Sam cracked a grin at the middle Loud, "Where did you come up with the idea to make a bold, public statement?"

"Personal experience," Lincoln shrugged, remembering the incident with Ronnie Anne at Jean Juan's. And at the dance. Gosh, he missed her…

"S-so, what do you say?" Luna coughed into her hand, nervously, "About hanging out, I mean. On a date."

Sam smiled, coyly.

" _Day after day, I hope and I pine._ _I'm too shy to come forward, but I wish you were mine_ ," she recited from memory. Luna's eyes widened.

"So, you _did_ write the poem!" she exclaimed, "Does that mean you… like me?"

"Does this answer your question?" Sam clasped her arms around Luna, pulling her in for a kiss. Tense at first, Luna quickly melted into it, tears of joy streaming down her face. Lincoln looked away in embarrassment. He hated when his sisters got mushy.

"No PDA," a teacher sighed as she walked past, "Also, get the middle schooler out of here, please."

"Y-yes, ma'am," Luna stammered as her and Sam prematurely aborted their kiss, both blushing. She leaned in close to her crush. "Wanna meet up for lunch at Jean Juan's this Saturday?"

"Absolutely!" Sam beamed.

The blonde watched as Luna escorted her brother out of the high school and back to the middle school. Luna nudged her brother, playfully.

"And you said you weren't a matchmaker," she chuckled. Lincoln rolled his eyes, but smiled.

 **Decided to put a song in here.** **The addition of Luna and Sam was last-minute, but I wanted an extra plot-point for the next chapter, which will mostly take place at Jean Juan's.** **Man, all these characters are really romantic and OOC, but that's why people read fanfics, isn't it?**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, apparently Rita sent the love letter in** ** _L is for Love_** **. I really need to do more research when I write these things :/**

 **I** ** _think_** **I've fixed my previous canonical mistakes. For the most part. Let's see if I can keep it up.**

 **Also, I worked in a few more innuendos than I would have liked. I've been too busy for quality control.**

Lynn was surprised how much fun shopping at antique stores could be. Well, with the right company, anyway. The only downside was the fact Lori, being their ride, went into the shops with them. She said it was as a form of payment – that she'd give them a lift as long as she could shop around, too – but Lynn knew her eldest sister well enough to know she was just tagging along to spy on them. More than once Lynn had gotten close to her boyfriend only to catch Lori a few yards away, flashing a grin and giving a thumbs-up.

Truth be told, Lynn was more annoyed by Lori's mere presence than her meddling. It was no secret that Clyde had been obsessed – quite literally so – with the oldest Loud child for years. Having her around made Lynn feel challenged. There was a fear that, being so close to his old crush would steal Clyde away from the young jock. That was something she could not allow. Fortunately, Clyde seemed completely oblivious to Lori, especially when Lynn worked her magic.

"Tell me," Lynn's tone, as seductive as she could make it, forced Clyde to turn from the vintage comic bin to face her. His nose started bleeding, pleasing Lynn to no end. "Do you think I should take up cheerleading?"

She had struck a cheer pose, one leg bent up, perfectly balanced on the other. Her chest – still mostly undeveloped – jutted out to accentuate what few curves she had. In her outstretched hands were a pair of pom-poms from the '50s, one red and the other white. Clyde scrubbed at his nose and tried to think of an adequate response.

"You probably shouldn't," he said, smiling coyly at her frown, "You'd easily put the other cheerleaders to shame."

Lynn blushed. Clyde thought compliments up faster than she could devise plans to fluster him. Why was he so perfect? At that very instant, though, Clyde felt concerned. He was supposed to be upping his game. He was struggling to be as suave as possible, to show his girlfriend his commitment and worth. It was ironic neither could see how hard the other was trying to impress them; an irony neither could appreciate in their ignorance.

Of course, Lori could appreciate the irony and she smiled at the sweetness of their exchange. If she hadn't been in a relationship with Bobby – and Clyde were _at least_ 15 – she might have considered accepting his advances long before now. She was glad that wasn't the case, of course; he went much better with Lynn than her. Lori grinned as she texted her boyfriend the dirty details about her sister's date. Bobby responded with various applause for the afroed preteen, oblivious to the fact Clyde had tried to steal his girlfriend on multiple occasions.

"You're pretty fast with the praise," Lynn smiled as she put the pom-poms up, "It's a shame you're not into baseball; your split-second response time would be a real asset."

"I'm actually a huge fan of baseball," Clyde confessed, "I have a trophy in my room from when I was younger."

"What the-?!" Lynn rounded on her boyfriend, eyes wide in surprise, "Why did you say you didn't like it?"

"I never said that," Clyde snorted, " _You_ said that; I just never corrected you."

"So, when I was trying to find a sport for you to play and you said no to baseball, what was that all about?"

"I love the sport," Clyde shrugged, "I'm pretty good at it, too. Still, I don't want it to eat into my free time. Baseball is a _huge_ commitment, and I have a lot of hobbies that I don't want to give up appeasing the coach."

"I guess that's fair," Lynn sighed. She could barely comprehend not wanting to give everything over to a sport, but she understood that others lacked her passion for such things. She smiled, though. "You realize now that I know you're a fan of baseball – and a good player – that we'll be switching our training to that, right?"

"What about wrestling?" Clyde asked.

"Did you even really like wrestling?" Lynn grinned.

"Well, we did get pretty close," Clyde waggled his eyebrows. That was suave, right? Either way, Lynn blushed and responded with a confident grin.

"That didn't answer my question."

"I guess I didn't really like it," Clyde confessed, "I just wanted to get a decent body to impress Lori. I still need a decent body."

"Why?" Lynn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I…" the afroed child blushed at being put on the spot, "You said I'm cute, but you never said it before I started working out. I'm worried that, if I quit, you won't think I look as good."

"Geeze, you really think I'd be that shallow?" Lynn placed her hands on her hips. Was she?

"N-no!" Clyde waved his hands, "But I don't want you to have anything less than perfect. You _deserve_ perfection."

Lynn worried that if she blushed any harder the blood would seep through her cheeks. How could every response Clyde said be so heart-stirring?! She embraced him, the suddenness of the motion freezing him. Slowly, he returned the hug. Lynn smiled as his warm arms wrapped around her.

"You _are_ perfect, stupid," she sighed into his hair, "As long as you never quit being you, I don't think I could stop loving you."

She blinked at the big 'L' escaping her lips. She felt Clyde tense at the word. Oh boy. Using that word was a major commitment for kids their age, almost the equivalent of engagement for adults. And she had gone and said it on their second date. Lynn knew she was fast – she had won enough track and field tournaments to know that – but she hadn't expected herself to be _that_ fast.

"Y-you love me?" Clyde asked, wonderment evident in his tone as he looked up to Lynn.

Their eyes met and both felt ensnared, once more. For a moment, Lynn forgot their age, forgot who they were with, and forgot they were in public. She desperately wanted to kiss Clyde in a very passionate and inappropriate manner, but she got a hold on her teenage hormones. A little lightheaded, she nodded.

"I love you, too," Clyde mumbled, contentedly, tightening their embrace.

The moment was ruined by the clicking of a photo being taken and Lori muttering a curse at her phone.

"Sorry!" she whispered, "Just ignore me!"

"Ugh," Lynn groaned, "Come on, Clyde. Now that I know you're a baseball fan, you should see these sports jerseys over here. One of them is signed by Babe Ruth!"

"No way!" Clyde hurried after her.

Lori smiled at the young couple, feeling proud of her younger sister. Now, if only the rest of her sisters could get into relationships…

…

"Wow, this menu is weird," Francisco said, trying to make the atmosphere less awkward.

The young jock had searched through his family's collection of clothing to try and piece together something suitable for a date. At first, he had thought of just going casual, but he thought that dressing in a similar fashion to Haiku would make her feel more comfortable. After all, it must have felt strange to be so overdressed in public, right? He finally found a black Latin tux – one of his father's old things – buried in the attic. Putting it on, he had gone to pick up Haiku and nearly facepalmed at his idiocy when he saw how underdressed she was.

Little did he know, Haiku had been operating by a similar idea. She figured Francisco would feel awkward being seen in public with a young girl in gothic dress and makeup. Normally, she didn't care what others thought, and hated conformity, but she _was_ trying to stay with Francisco to make Lynn jealous and win Clyde. That was still her intent. She hoped. Haiku wore less makeup than usual, and a simple black dress, very similar to what Lucy usually wore. She didn't have much in the way of 'normal' clothing, but she hoped that would do.

Now they stared at each other in embarrassment at having tried to dress like the other.

"Fusion cuisine is…" Haiku shrugged, "an acquired taste."

"Don't they have just regular Tex-Mex, though?" Francisco tsked, "What's escargot, anyway?"

"Snails."

"What the-" the jock gaped, "You can _eat_ snails?!"

Haiku couldn't help but crack a smile at that. Francisco was intelligent – Haiku could sense that – but his language always made him seem ignorant, naïve, or uncultured. He seemed almost childish, but the young goth could see past that. Their conversations always exposed Francisco's underlying intellect.

"I can't find anything that sounds good," he sighed, "What would you recommend?"

"Hmm," Haiku tapped her chin, thoughtfully, "I usually just get a baguette with some tortilla soup."

"That's it?" the jock blinked, "That's not a lot to eat."

"You would be surprised at how filling fiber can be."

"I guess I'll try it," Francisco gave a small smile, "The coach always says we need more carbohydrates and whatnot."

After they placed their orders, the two chatted idly about school and plans for the weekend. Francisco had Sunday off, of course, and was free after church. Haiku's face twitched at that word. Haiku, for her part, had no plans except possibly meeting Lucy at the gothic poetry club on Sunday for brunch. Francisco tapped his chin, curious.

"Why did you give me that look?" he asked.

"What look?"

"You looked a little… offended when I said something about going to church."

"Did I?" Haiku wanted to slam her head against the table. Lucy and she were both dabblers in the black arts, Satanic worship, communion with spirits, shamanism, Wicca, and anything frowned upon by mainstream religion – even if the beliefs conflicted with each other. Part of it was to be nonconformist, but it was also a genuine curiosity and comfort in the misunderstood that drew them in. By reflex, Haiku had begun to cringe at the mention of the Right-Hand Path.

"It's cool if you're not into that," Francisco shrugged, "I hardly pay attention when I go, anyway, but it's a family thing, you know?"

"Not really," Haiku shrugged, "I quit going when I was younger. My parents quit trying to force me. They're… a little conservative. We haven't been on good terms since."

Francisco frowned. He'd always had such a good relationship with his family. Most of his friends did, too, but he wasn't a stranger to the various unhappy homes. There were members of his jock click that came from low-income families, or families involved in drugs and crime, or families ravaged by painful divorces. He knew people with abusive parents, too. Still, Haiku didn't come from any of that, it seemed. Her family was just… unwilling to accept her. Somehow that stabbed at his heart more than anything.

"I suppose if we had kids, you'd take them to church?" Haiku asked, stirring her tea with a straw.

"What?" Francisco gaped. Kids? She wasn't even old enough to get pregnant! Who talked about kids on a first date?

"Purely hypothetical, of course," Haiku smiled, disarmingly, and her piercing blue eyes seemed almost warm with her playfulness, "It's fine if you would; I don't want to deprive my children of the opportunity to follow their own path."

"Yeah, I guess I would," the jock scratched at his collar a little, "I mean, like I said, I'm not really religious myself, but most of the people I know don't go to church for the faith. They go to meet friends and talk about current events. Besides, my preacher usually teaches good things. He's really progressive, compared to most. He doesn't talk about Hell a lot, which is refreshing."

"You've been to other churches?" Haiku was surprised. Usually families were born into their religion and locked for life.

"I was baptized Catholic," Francisco shrugged, "but my family has been experimenting with other churches. They, uh… they vote Democrat a lot, let's just say that, so they wanted a church that didn't say they were evil for doing so."

"Progressive Christians," Haiku murmured, mildly surprised. She was only eleven and her experience with members of various faiths was limited to them picking on her for being different, and the occasional taunts that she'd burn in Hell. Or worse, the pitying promises that she could be _saved_. Yet, here was Francisco, a product of Christianity – though not a zealous one – who was not only tolerant, but caring. "Sorry, religion isn't really the best topic for dates. It's about as bad as politics."

"True," Francisco chuckled, "To answer your question, though, about if we had… kids… I would take them to church, but I wouldn't force them to go. I'd also let you teach them your faith, whatever that is. It's up to the individual to decide, after all. Isn't that what free will is for?"

"If only everyone in the Right-Hand Path was like you," Haiku sighed, "there would be no more wars."

"What?" Francisco asked.

"Nothing," Haiku shook her head with a smile, "We should move onto another topic. Something cheerier."

"I don't know," the jock scratched his nose with a cheeky smile, "talking about kids seemed pretty cheery to me."

Haiku tried to cover her blush with a smile, but both were too uncharacteristic of her for her date not to notice. Before Francisco could say anything about it, his attention drifted to a new couple arriving into the restaurant. He vaguely recognized the brunette, whose freckled face, short brown locks, and facial structure made him think of…

"Isn't that Lynn's older sister?" he asked, surprisingly subtle. Haiku spared a disguised glance through her hair at them.

"I believe that's Luna," Haiku agreed, "Lucy has talked about her on occasion. She's supposed to be a rebellious music sort."

"Huh," Francisco couldn't help but eye the older Loud sister from head to foot. Would Lynn fill out like that as she grew older? Sure, Luna was a little flat-chested, but… He shook his head to clear his mind. He was on a date! Fortunately, if Haiku had noticed his staring, she made no comment about it.

"I didn't know she was into girls," the goth noted.

"They're probably just friends," Francisco chuckled, eying the blonde. Then again, who _wouldn't_ be attracted to that? No! Bad thoughts!

When the two girls sat down and held hands, eyes locked in half-lidded bliss, however, Francisco conceded the point.

"They're cute together," Haiku noted, "I hope things work out between them."

"Yeah, they are," his chuckle died when Haiku raised a questioning eyebrow at him, "Um… Sorry. The group I hang out with isn't really known for being… couth?"

"Couth?" Haiku repeated, moderately impressed. She hadn't expected Francisco to know such a word. She smiled, disarmingly, calming her date down, some. "It's fine. You are a teenage boy, after all. I imagine it would be difficult to keep your eyes on a preteen girl when women are around."

Francisco felt his cheeks flush in shame. Quickly, he took one of Haiku's hands in his. Even though their skin had brushed on several occasions, the difference in their body temperature never ceased to amaze him. He looked into her eyes, unwaveringly.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm here for _you_. I shouldn't be behaving like that; it's dishonest and unfair."

Haiku felt her heart beat a little quicker. For a blockheaded thirteen-year-old jock, Francisco had a surprising amount of character. She used her free hand to place a loose strand of his black locks behind his ear.

"Shush," she placed a finger on his lips, causing him to blush, "Let's go back to children. How do you feel about the name 'Waldo'?"

…

Luna wouldn't have recognized Lucy's friend or Lynn's crush, even if she could look away from her date. Her heart was beating faster than her drums during a rigorous metal song. What if she messed things up? What if Sam was only humoring her? No, she had written that love poem. Wait, didn't their mother confess to writing the love poem to their father years prior? How did Sam know it? Things weren't adding up, but Luna wrote that off as her synapses misfiring from stress.

"Luna, chill," Sam said, calmly, a mellow smile on her lips, "You've got me out here and in a booth, don't you? Play your cards right, and we'll see what else you can get me to do."

Luna's eyes widened and her face turned beet red. _Oh God, oh God, oh God!_

"Sorry," Sam blushed a little, "Was that too fast? I-I'm not really good at this dating thing."

"N-no!" Luna said, hurriedly, "That was really cool! It got me excited and… Um…" Luna facepalmed, "Wow, I suck at this."

"I don't want to move things too quickly," Sam said in an effort at damage control, "I mean, if you aren't comfortable with that kind of stuff, then I won't even joke about it."

"W-were you joking?" Luna asked, "I-I mean, I was, uh… kind of okay with it."

Both teens avoided looking at each other, blushing madly. They needed to cool down before they made idiots out of themselves.

"Welcome to Jean Juan's French Mex," their waitress greeted, "What would you like to drink, today?"

"Ice water!" both blushing girls said at once, startling the waitress and each other. After their waitress scuttled off, the two shared a nervous chuckle. They were acting silly.

"I'm glad you asked me out," Sam said, at last.

"Me too," Luna said.

After a moment of charged silence and avoiding eye contact, Luna rubbed her arm and decided to ask the questions burning in her mind.

"Did you only agree to go out with me to, like… spare my feelings?" she asked, "M-my mom wrote that love poem; actually, it's kind of weird you know what was written in it."

"Your mom wrote you a love poem?" Sam raised an eyebrow in question, "Wait, no! _I_ wrote that poem! I left it in your locker!"

"We found the letter in our mailbox," Luna furrowed her brow.

"What?" Sam blinked in surprise, "That can't be… You never found the love letter I wrote you? In the purple envelope with the skull sticker?"

Luna shook her head.

"So…" Sam couldn't help but crack a grin, "your mom wrote the _exact same_ poem I wrote you?"

"I don't want to call you a liar, but that seems _really_ unlikely, dude," Luna laughed, dryly, "Then again… Weirder coincidences have happened."

"All I know is I've never seen the love letter you're talking about," Sam snorted, "but you act like what I told you matches it word for word."

"If you say you put a love letter in my locker, I'll believe you," Luna grabbed Sam's hand, "and I will tear that puppy apart looking for it."

"What will you do when you find it?" Sam asked, feeling her heart flutter at the contact.

"I'm torn between taping it above my bed so I can read it every time I wake up, or framing it on my desk," Luna confessed, "It's not every day you get a love letter from a goddess."

"Geeze, Luna," Sam blushed deeper, turning her face slightly in a vain effort to hide her love-struck grin, "I can see where Lincoln picked up his suave 'tude from. To answer your question, though, I agreed to go out with you because, well… I love you. I wouldn't have kissed you in front of everybody at school if I didn't."

"Sorry, I'm just so surprised by all this," Luna confessed, "I always thought you were way out of my league. I mean, _look at you_! You've got the most rocking body in the whole school! And that doesn't even compare to how gorgeous you are on the inside. I just find it hard to believe that you'd like someone like me."

"And why wouldn't I like someone like you?" Sam asked.

"Well," Luna shrugged again, "I'm not much to look at. I mean, have you _seen_ my older sisters? They're drop-dead beautiful! I've got ugly brown hair, a flat chest, and a hoarse voice. Not really much of a winner."

"I think your hair his sexy," Sam winked, "and I could care less about the size of breasts. As for your voice, I could listen to it all day."

"You're just saying that," Luna tried to keep feeling down, but her blushing smile and fluttering heart betrayed that lie.

"Are you calling your date a liar?" Sam asked, mischievously.

"That depends," Luna shared in her date's good humor, "is a goddess capable of lying?"

"Keep calling me a goddess, and I'll have to prove you wrong," Sam chuckled, shifting one of her legs under the table. The sudden contact under the table made Luna jump slightly and blush madly. She quickly downed her ice water.

"W-wrong?" she stammered, "How so?"

"Well, a goddess is supposed to be holy, right? Beyond sin?" Sam raised a very suggestive eyebrow. Luna felt some blood trickle from her nose. "And if cleanliness is next to godliness, then a goddess could never be so… _dirty_."

"G-g-g-g-g-g-" Luna officially broke.

…

"I'm kind of regretting this purchase," Lynn confessed, frowning slightly at the shirt she held as she exited their fifth antique store, "The color's wrong, it's almost too small for me, and it has the number 2 on it; not 1."

"Why'd you get it, then?" Clyde asked.

"People say I wear the same jersey every day," Lynn shrugged, "I thought I'd spice things up."

"With another jersey?" Lori asked, "That's not very different."

"Says the girl who wears the same shorts and tank top every day," Lynn muttered.

"I think _everybody_ wears the same thing, every day," Clyde noted, "It's a little weird, actually."

The three teens spared a look at an unseen audience before continuing their trip to the van. Piling in, the three headed for Clyde's house first, their date officially over after nearly five hours of shopping. Clyde, true to form, had kept his shopping to a minimum to conserve money – a vintage Ace Savvy comic, a baseball signed by a local sports hero, and a gift for Lynn he had managed to keep hidden from her. Lynn had only bought a few old, used jerseys to add some variety to her wardrobe, and a letterman. In retrospect, they probably weren't the best investment considering she was still growing; she could always pass them off to her daughter, though.

Her eyes slid to her boyfriend. Daughter? Why was she already thinking of children?

"Hey, Clyde, I got a weird question for you," the jock said.

"Shoot."

"If you had a kid, would you want a daughter or a son?"

Lori almost ran a red light, cursing as she slammed on the brakes. Holy moly, Lynn was moving fast!

"A daughter," Clyde said, without any hesitation or blushing. He didn't seem the least perturbed by the question.

"Really?" Lynn grinned. How convenient.

"Aren't you two a little young to be talking about kids?" Lori asked, a warning in her tone.

"Relax, Lori," the jock smirked, "That's a long ways off, anyway. But it's cool to work out the details in advance, right?"

"I guess…" the eldest Loud muttered.

The two lovers started talking names. Lynn was quite insistent on "Lacy", for some reason. As for sons, Clyde was in favor of naming them after his own fathers, which Lynn could respect. After all, she was a _junior_ , so she understood better than most the desire to pass on a name as a legacy. Lori rolled her eyes and their lack of originality, but smiled all the same.

They made a cute couple, all things considered.

 **Weird ending, I know. For those who aren't aware, Lacy is name given to the fandom-created offspring for Lynn and Lincoln. Whether you like the concept or not, she's a cute character – just saying.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Added conflict in this chapter. Tried to be subtle and work up to something big, but instead I went in with all the force and subtlety of a truck slamming into a wall.**

"This is nice," Lynn confessed. Had she been with anyone else, she would never have admitted it.

"I told you you'd like it," Clyde chuckled.

The two of them were reclining upon a nice blanket set up along the slope of Clyde's roof. Both his fathers had been hesitant letting their one and only son risk life and limb to climb their house, but they weren't going to coddle him in front of his rough-and-tumble girlfriend. Plus, climbing to the roof had been _her_ addition, to make relaxing more exciting. Clyde was willing to admit the extra height offered a better vantage for them to look at the cityscape, and put them in the prime location to smell his fathers' barbecue smoke.

And offered them some privacy.

"If you ever tell anyone that I actually _enjoyed_ relaxing like this," Lynn warned, a playful grin saying it was a joke, "I'll have to quit holding back at baseball."

"Right," Clyde snorted, "holding back…"

They both knew that Clyde's abilities in the sport were almost a rival to Lynn's own, and as much as it pained the jock to admit it, he was catching up to her with all their training. It was startling how much progress he had made in the week since their shopping date. He still didn't want to join the team, but Lynn had the feeling she was wearing him down on that.

"I gotta say," Lynn chuckled, bringing herself in closer to her lover, "I never would have guessed that my little brother's dorky friend would be such a perfect boyfriend. I also thought dating a kid would be kinda weird. Makes me feel _naughty_."

Clyde tried to blush or grin at her attempt at seduction – her attempts almost always made him flustered because her bluntness made them so effective. Where most girls preferred to charm like a cute convertible, Lynn's tactic had all the trademarks of a truck: brutish, efficient, and useful for work _and_ fun. He wanted to feel that bubbly warmth he always felt, but… her words stung him.

"Is that how you see me?" he asked, trying not to let his emotion bleed into his voice too much. To his chagrin, his voice broke a little despite his effort; did _anyone_ like puberty? "As a dorky kid?"

"Oh, don't be so sensitive," Lynn snorted, derisively, slugging her boyfriend in the arm, "Man up, will you? I mean, to be fair, you are a kid, and you're a lot like Lincoln – who is a _major_ dork."

"Well, you're a kid, too," Clyde pointed out. Lynn laughed at that.

He decided to let the issue go, forcing a grin. He felt… emasculated. He was used to that sensation – as was Lincoln – from their 'unmanly' hobbies, as well as the fact the majority of the people they knew were girls (Lincoln's sisters). Still, to hear it from a girl you loved made all the difference. Lynn said he was a dorky kid, one who needed to quit being sensitive and 'man up'. Was there something wrong with being a dork? Was his age also a problem? Why did he have to quit being sensitive and live up to societal standards of macho-ness? Well, he'd show her that he could be a man.

Having grown more confident in their relationship, Clyde had realized Lynn was a complicated girl – one that secretly enjoyed being treated like a lady, yet also desired her partner to initiate things on occasion. She wanted to be in control, most times, but she secretly loved when Clyde took over – provided he did well. Not quite a tsundere, Clyde smirked at the comparison, but close enough.

He climbed atop her while her eyes were closed, flanking her head with his arms, and her hips with his knees. She opened her eyes, surprised to see his face so close to hers. Her face broke into a blush, but she didn't move or say anything. Slowly, he drifted in for a kiss, and slowly, Lynn let her eyes close and her licks pucker up. She let out a yelp when she felt Clyde's warm lips press against the area where her neck and shoulder met, the pressure as light and breathy as a feather. Her blush spread as he worked his way up her neck, stopping with a peck on the corner of her mouth, which was still puckered, expectantly.

"W-why'd you stop?" she demanded, her face completely flustered.

"Still think I'm a kid?" Clyde grinned.

"Okay, okay!" Lynn said, hurriedly, "I take it back, but you're still a dork. Now, _please_ …"

Clyde gave a self-satisfied smile of triumph. It was a small victory, but it was a victory. He leaned in for the final kiss. Despite their youth, both Lynn and Clyde had access to the internet (thankfully censored with parental blocks), and they had found increasingly… _exciting_ ways to kiss each other. Ways that most Americans (and most of the world) might view as too advanced for their years.

"You get better every time," Lynn grinned.

"So do you," Clyde said.

He hovered over her a little longer, their eyes locked in hazy bliss, before his fathers called them down for lunch. Howard and Harold held their peace while they ate together, content to watch their son enjoy his date. They liked Lynn – she was spunky, loyal, and kept Clyde active – but her aggression and proneness for danger often worried them. Still, Clyde wouldn't be a kid forever… Besides, Harold enjoyed the prospect of having yet another baseball fan added to the family.

"It's dangerous up there," Howard said, trying to keep the anxiety from his voice; no need to embarrass his son in front of his girlfriend, "You two should be more careful."

"It's cool, Mr. M," Lynn chuckled, lightly, "Clyde's no gymnast, but his sense of balance is pretty good."

"Oh, sweetie, you can call me Howard," the redhead waved a hand, playfully, "You're part of the family."

"Th-thanks," Lynn smiled, abashedly, "By the way, these burgers are great! Way better than my dad's. Um, don't tell him I said that."

"Oh, you're too kind," Harold chuckled as he managed the grill, "Eat as much as you'd like; I imagine with ten siblings you don't get to pig out often."

"Ha!" Lynn grinned, "No joke."

Howard tilted his head, slightly disturbed at the five burgers Lynn piled onto her plate, but Harold nodded approvingly. He could admire a girl with an appetite. Both fathers could appreciate their son's love-struck expression as he watched Lynn eat. Still, something in his eyes seemed a little off – pained, would be the word Howard would use. Neither of them brought it up, though; today was supposed to be happy, after all.

Soon the couple left. It was a nice day out, so Clyde decided to walk Lynn home before it got dark – a gesture his fathers found adorable. As Clyde's house disappeared behind them, Lynn opened her mouth.

"Your dads are pretty great," she admitted, patting her stomach, "I mean, Mr. Harold is one heck of a cook! They're a little weird, though."

"Weird?" Clyde repeated, stopping in his tracks. It took Lynn a few seconds to realize she was walking by herself, so she stopped and turned to face her boyfriend. "What do you mean 'weird'?"

"They just act..." Lynn shrugged, searching for the right term, "…weird. I mean, my parents love each other, but they don't ride a tandem bicycle. Mr. Howard also acts very, um… flamboyant."

"Do you have a problem with that?" Clyde asked, forcing himself to stay calm. Still, a little heat worked its way into his voice.

Lynn heard it. She wanted to apologize, to explain she hadn't meant any offense, but… Well, Lynn had always met aggression with aggression, anger with anger. She was a competitor, a warrior, and took everything as a challenge. To apologize, especially for something so seemingly inconsequential, was the equivalent of surrender. In her mind, if Clyde were getting worked up and taking offense, she wasn't the one at fault – he should lighten up!

"I don't have a problem with it," Lynn snapped, furrowing her brow, "Why are you getting so upset? Man up, will you? It was just an observation."

"Quit telling me to man up!" Clyde growled, his voice scratching and robbing it of its fury, "All day – no – all _week_ that's all you've been telling me to do! Lynn, what the heck do you even mean by that?"

"I mean quit getting worked up over nothing," Lynn took an aggressive step towards Clyde, her hands clenched at her sides, "You're overreacting and getting _way_ too emotional, like your dad."

"Oh, so my dads aren't _manly_?" Clyde scoffed, using his hands to enunciate how ridiculous that sentiment was.

"No, they aren't!" Lynn snapped, only realizing what she said after the words had left her mouth.

Clyde looked as if she had just slapped him in the face with all her strength. She had been insulting his manhood ever since they started dating, then had to go and top it off by saying his fathers – his greatest male role models – weren't manly at all. Clyde, like Lincoln, wasn't particularly concerned with gender stereotypes, (Clyde especially, if that story of him wearing a dress was to be believed,) but like the overwhelming majority of men – and people, in general – he was concerned with his self-image. It was one thing for a careless society to deem you unworthy of being a man, especially when you could care less about that culture, but when it was someone you loved, whose opinion of you mattered, it was incredibly showering. Lynn knew this, she understood this.

The fact she had messed up only made her angrier, and that anger only made her more aggressive.

"What?" she sneered, "Are you going to cry now? Going to run back home and cry to your daddies?"

Clyde let out a scream, more of a shriek due to his youth, but no less startling, and charged Lynn. He wasn't sure what he would do – likely just tackle her. He was acting on pure impulse, unable to hold onto his cool anymore. Lynn acted on instinct, her body trained in various forms of self-defense. As Clyde came within striking distance, before she could even process what she was doing or stop herself, she swung out with her arm, her fist connecting with his nose. Carried by his momentum at the same instant he was stopped on high, Clyde fell and slid past Lynn, coming to a halt and clutching his face. He groaned, trying not to sob from the physical and emotional pain. Lynn, for her part, stood completely still, arm still outstretched, and a look of horror etched on her face.

 _What did I just do?!_ she screamed in her head, slowly bringing her hand in and clutching it. She had struck hard enough to scrape her skin, to bruise the knuckles, and much to her horror, enough to draw Clyde's blood. She looked back at the afroed teen, who was sitting up and clutching his nose, sniffling back tears. Her anger was completely gone, replaced by fear and… pain.

"C-Clyde," she made to move closer to him, but stopped at the look he gave her. It was wide-eyed, red-rimmed, and filled to the brim with terror and – and hate. Lynn felt her heart breaking. "Clyde, I-I'm sorry! I-"

"Go home, Lynn," Clyde said, his voice odd from the hand clutching his bleeding nose, "I don't want to see you again."

"Clyde, please!" Lynn fell to her knees beside him, trying to bring him in for a hug.

Clyde had to use both hands, but he managed to remover her arms from around him and shove her back, leaving a bloody handprint on the white chest of her jersey. He stood quickly, taking several steps back, and Lynn could only look up at him, dumbfounded.

"I've done everything I could to be a good boyfriend," he said, his shaky voice slowly becoming steady, "and all you've given me in return are insults. You insulted my manhood, you insulted my hobbies, my behavior, and even how I look…"

"C-Clyde, I-" Lynn tried to defend herself as tears began falling from her eyes.

"But worst of all, you insulted my parents – the two most important people in my life, without ever apologizing," Clyde grimaced as he scrubbed the blood from his nose. He didn't mention the nose since, even in his anger, he recognized she had acted in self-defense. Still, it was her fault for provoking him into attacking!

"Clyde…" Lynn tried, but her voice failed her as she began to cry in earnest.

"Just… just go home, Lynn," Clyde sighed, feeling his own heart shatter at seeing her cry.

"Please…" Lynn's voice was a whisper, filled with pain, "don't leave me."

Clyde turned and ran from her, unable to face her any longer. Truthfully, he didn't want to leave her, and he certainly didn't want to break up with her. Her insults had been playful jabs, but would an apology kill her? The punch made him feel justified for taking this course of action, but his heart… his heart shouldn't feel like it was being ripped apart if he were making the right decision, should it?

He tried to ignore the sound of Lynn sobbing behind him.

…

"So…" Francisco drawled out as he sat on a metal gurney in the school, "I just… lay here?"

"That's right," Haiku nodded. Besides her only Lucy was present for this impromptu Morticians Club practice. "We need you to play the corpse."

"Dark," Francisco muttered. Soon, two sets of young, pale, cool hands were working to pull his shirt off. "W-whoa! What are you doing?!"

"We have to prepare you, silly," Haiku giggled, "The Club trains future morticians to be more comfortable handling bodies, especially those of the opposite gender. We undress you, then put you in a suit."

"Undress..?" Francisco blushed. Well, that explained why his girlfriend wanted him to bring over his suit.

"One moment, please," Lucy said, pulling her fellow goth out of earshot, "He doesn't seem to know what's going on. You _did_ tell him what we'd be doing, right?"

"I thought it best to surprise him," Haiku smirked.

"I'm pretty sure that goes against club policy," Lucy noted, "Aren't you worried having two sets of girl hands running along his skin might make him… react?"

"W-what?" Haiku's vivid blush told the younger goth that had been _exactly_ what she was thinking, "Don't be silly! Besides, boys his age don't get… like that."

"Well…" Lucy couldn't help remembering a few instances where she had accidentally seen or felt her brother's… Eh… She should probably quit hanging out in air vents.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," Haiku regained her poise, "We need a corpse – we have a corpse. Besides, we're likely to come across corpses with… _conditions_ in our careers. The Club is supposed to help us get used to those sorts of things."

"I don't think that was what our founder intended…" Lucy began, but Haiku was already back to removing Francisco's shirt, almost too eagerly. Lucy sighed. Was she going to get that grabby when she was older?

The two goths set about undressing Francisco. Within minutes they had expertly stripped him down to his underwear. Much to his credit, Francisco kept his hormones at bay by thinking of baseball stats, and thus spared exposing himself to two younger girls. What an embarrassment that'd be… Haiku must have been nuts! He'd be lying if he said he didn't like it, though…

Soon they had him all gussied him in light makeup and his tux. Before he could ask if that were all, however, they placed him into the casket and shut the lid. He lay there, patiently, for several seconds, before opening his coffin.

"Corpses aren't supposed to do that," Haiku noted.

"They do in my books," Lucy said.

"Are we done?" Francisco stretched, not used to lying still for long periods of time.

"Yes, dear," Haiku smiled, "You've been a perfect corpse, and you look quite fetching in that suit."

"We'd have broken our personal speed record," Lucy spared a glance at her friend, "if someone hadn't wasted time feeling up the body."

"I had to check for blemishes," Haiku smiled, "There were none, of course; as I said – a perfect corpse."

Lucy rolled her eyes despite the fact no one could see them. Haiku was one of her closest friends, and one of the only goths in the school. Having a boyfriend, however, was making her _bubbly_ and difficult to relate to. Surely, Lucy thought, she wouldn't behave like this if she were with Silas? Considering how she behaved around Rocky, though, she blushed. Even goths had their weaknesses, she conceded.

"I never expected things to work out so well," Lucy confessed, drawing both Haiku and Francisco's eyes, "I figured you would have ended up with Clyde, and Francisco with Lynn."

"Haiku and Clyde?" Francisco gave a short laugh, "I understand why you'd think Lynn and I'd be together, what with the fact we're jocks and all, but why would they be together? I mean, I've never seen you two talk."

"We danced once," Haiku explained, sparing a glare at Lucy.

Francisco caught the glare, though. He chose to stay silent despite the unease blossoming in his chest. Haiku was holding something back…

"It's getting late," Lucy pointed out, "We should head home."

"The night's still young," Haiku said to Francisco, "and it's a weekend…"

"I'll have to call my parents," Francisco chuckled, nervously, "but I wouldn't mind hanging out with you a little more, beautiful."

Lucy groaned, leaving the lovebirds alone. Maybe it was her imagination, but they were acting a little too mature for their ages; they seemed more like Lori and Bobby than Lincoln and Ronnie Anne had been. The younger goth made her way out of the school, sighing in frustration that Lori wasn't there to pick her up. Knowing her, the oldest Loud child had probably gotten sidetracked texting her boyfriend… Looking around for the familiar van, Lucy was surprised she wasn't the only one waiting in the parking lot.

"Hey!" the other girl waved, cheerfully. Before Lucy could move, the other girl had managed to close the distance.

"Hello," Lucy said, monotone as always. It was always awkward talking to strangers... Wait, actually she'd seen this girl before. "Isn't your name Cookie?"

The girl's eye twitched, but her smile didn't falter.

"N-no, actually…" she said, "but everyone calls me that, anyway. You bake and eat a lot of cookies, and you're labeled for life."

"Sorry," Lucy said, "So, what is your name?"

"Oh, it's-" her answer was drowned out by the squealing of bus brakes, "but, like I said, everyone calls me Cookie, anyway."

"O…kay," Lucy nodded. She hadn't caught the name, but whatever, "Well, I'm-"

"I know who you are, Lucy," Cookie beamed, "You're Lucy Loud – Lincoln's little sister."

"You know Lincoln?" Lucy asked. Cookie looked crestfallen, but recovered quickly.

"Of course I _know_ him!" Cookie snorted, " _Every_ girl in school knows Lincoln! The boy with ten sisters, who does anything to help the ones he cares about, who managed to date Ronnie Anne Santiago – the scariest girl in school!"

Lucy stayed silent, unsure how to respond to hearing her brother talked about in such a way. Was Cookie blushing? It was hard to tell since she had turned away, pressing her hands against her cheeks.

"I'm assuming you aren't close to him, though?" Lucy asked.

"W-well," Cookie's face was certainly flushed this time, but likely from embarrassment, "No. I've tried to hang out with him, but he's kind of… untouchable."

"Untouchable?" Lucy asked, surprise bleeding into her voice. Lincoln?

"He has a history with girls!" Cookie groaned, "Every girl he's spent time with – sisters included – has been some awesome person. How is a girl who bakes supposed to compete with that?"

"I'm sure you do more than bake," Lucy said.

"No, that's pretty much all there is to me," Cookie sighed, "Well, that and watching…" she trailed off, eying Lucy with anxiety.

The goth was smart enough to see what Cookie was afraid to say, though she could scarcely believe it. Sure, plenty of girls looked at Lincoln and shot him smiles and half-lidded stares when he wasn't looking, but few of them actually had a crush on him. Cookie, though… She was crushing to near-stalker levels, if Lucy was hearing her correctly.

"Lincoln's single, you know," Lucy mentioned, startling the brunette.

"I-I know that," she blushed, "W-why do you think I'd care?"

Lucy simply stared at Cookie in silence. Cookie sagged, groaning.

"Is it that obvious?" she asked.

"You're not very subtle," Lucy pointed out, "Have you tried talking to him?"

"It took me months to work up the courage to talk to _any_ of you," Cookie sighed, "The only reason I did so today was because this was the best opportunity."

"You weren't… stalking me, were you?" Lucy asked.

"Oh, heavens, no!" Cookie giggled, "I just got out of Bake Club. I wasn't expecting to see you here, but you know what they say – seize the day!"

"You're very peppy," the goth noted.

"D-does Lincoln not like peppy girls?" Cookie asked, worry in her voice.

"I'm sure he doesn't mind," Lucy smirked, "From what I've seen, he likes all kinds of girls."

Cookie blushed at that. Lucy frowned; did she say something suggestive? Nah.

As silence settled in from lack of topics, Lori arrived. Lucy silently thanked her sister's timing; while she enjoyed silence, awkward silences were unnerving. Before she got into the van, she turned back to Cookie.

"Do you have a ride?" the goth asked.

"Maybe," Cookie shrugged, "Mom sometimes forgets I need rides."

Lucy exchanged a questioning glance with Lori before both sisters looked at Cookie.

"Would you like a ride?" Lucy asked.

"Oh, I don't want to trouble you," Cookie giggled, "Besides, I've been waiting here so long, what's a little more time?"

"How long have you been waiting?" Lori asked.

"Hmmm," Cookie exhaled, brow furrowed in thought, "Bake club let out at 2…"

"You've been standing out here for four hours?!" Lori asked, horrified, "Why didn't you, like, call your mom?"

"I don't have a cell phone," Cookie shrugged.

"Get in the van," Lori ordered. Cookie jumped at the command and, before she knew what she was doing, hustled into the van. Lucy sat beside her. "Where do you live?"

Cookie told them her address and both sisters looked at her in astonishment.

"That's our street," Lucy noted.

"Right across from you," Cookie agreed.

"I literally never noticed you before," Lori said.

"I spend a lot of time inside," the brunette giggled, "and, um, not many people _do_ notice me."

Lori frowned at that. Being a caretaker by nature, even if she _were_ a little authoritarian, one thing that got under her skin was child neglect. Her own lack of recognizing their young neighbor also frustrated her. Was she really that easy to miss? She looked cute; shouldn't cute girls be memorable, or something?

"Um, Lori?" Cookie said partway through the drive, startling the older girl. How did she know her name? "This is going to sound weird, but how do you get a boy to like you?"

 _O._

 _M._

 _G._

Lori had always wanted her younger sisters – and Lincoln, of course – to come to her for romantic advice, but they almost never did. Which was odd, considering her and Bobby had been in a more-or-less stable relationship for as long as anyone cared to remember. Here was a little girl asking _her_ for advice! She might not have been a sister, but screw semantics.

"You get him to notice you, first," Lori grinned, "What's he into?"

"Oh, what isn't he into?" Cookie gushed, "Manga and comics, for sure. He also builds models, and he likes to play sports, and video games."

"Manga?" Lori raised an eyebrow, "He sounds kind of like a dweeb, like my brother. Oh, no offense."

"Normally I would be offended," Cookie chuckled nervously, "but since he _is_ your brother, you have a right to say it."

Lori almost missed her turn.

"Lincoln?" she asked, "Literally?"

Cookie only nodded.

"You seem to know a lot about him," Lucy noted, "I forgot he built models."

"I didn't even know he built models," Lori muttered. Thinking back to the few times she entered his room, she had definitely seen a model airplane once.

"Every year I buy him gifts for his birthday or Christmas with extra money from my bake sales," the brunette sighed, "and every year, I chicken out. I have a stack of comics and models filling my closet."

"You, like, don't need to buy guys things to get them to like you," Lori snorted, "You have to use your feminine wiles to snag his attention. Then, when he's wrapped around your finger, you make him yours!"

"Is that how you got Bobby?" Cookie asked, slightly awestruck. _Here_ was a woman who knew how to take charge and get what she wanted!

"Uh..." Lori shrunk in her seat.

"They both had a crush on each other and were too scared to talk to one another," Lucy explained, "When they finally did, they practically fell over each other stammering. At least, that's how Luan described it."

"Oh," Cookie seemed disappointed, "I don't know, Lori… I don't think Lincoln would like me."

"Why not, sweetie?" Lori asked, frowning sadly in the mirror. She hated when good people lacked confidence.

"We've never talked," the young girl looked out the window, wistfully, "In fact, I don't think he ever noticed me. Besides, he likes girls like Ronnie Anne. I'm nothing like her!"

"He also liked Christina," Lucy pointed out, "and Paige. They're nothing like Ronnie Anne _or_ each other."

"Lincoln's a sweetheart," Lori smiled, "and his taste in girls goes beyond what they look or act like. I'm sure if you show you're interested, he won't be able to resist. You're so sweet! Like a cookie, or something."

Cookie groaned.

"What did I say?" Lori asked, startled.

"Cookie is her name – er – _nick_ name," Lucy explained, "She doesn't like it too much."

"I like it, it's just everyone calls me that before I have a chance to introduce myself," Cookie sighed, "Oh man, what if Lincoln calls me it and I groan by reflex?!"

"Calm down," Lori giggled, "Linc has put up with far worse from girls than some groaning. Lynn nearly puts him in the hospital every day."

"So did Ronnie Anne, now that I think about it," Lucy added.

Slightly relieved, Cookie enjoyed the rest of the trip in silence. She thanked Lori for the ride when they arrived at her house. The two Louds blinked in surprise at the quality of the property. It may have been the nicest house on the block. After they made sure she got inside, the two returned to their own home and immediately went upstairs. They slowed at the concerned queue waiting outside Lucy's room. Even Lincoln was there, leaning against the door.

"Like, what's going on?" Lori asked as she joined them.

"Lynn came home seriously bummed," Luna explained in a whisper, "She looked like she'd been crying, but wouldn't say a word. Locked herself in her room."

"Lincoln's trying to talk to her," Luan added, "but she's being awfully quiet. We're getting worried."

Lucy was already beside Lincoln, her sister senses tingling.

"Lynn, open up," she said, bluntly. Her siblings blinked at the audacity, but they didn't know Lynn like she knew her; when she was mopey, you had to be hard like a coach.

"Go away, Lucy!" Lynn groaned from the other side, muffled by the door and likely buried under a pillow fort.

"You know I'll get in there one way or the other, right?" the goth asked, "You may as well save yourself the trouble."

There was a moment of silence before Lucy heard the teen get off her bed and unlock the door. Her siblings crowded around, eager to burst into the room and help, but Lucy stopped them with a raised hand. They trusted her enough to let her go in alone and close the door behind her.

"What's wrong, Lynn?" she asked, letting some emotion bleed into her voice. Lynn only returned to her pillow fort, hugging Cliff to her chest. That wasn't a good sign; even when sad, Lynn was the last to cuddle with animals.

"We broke up," the jock said, simply, nestling in her fortress of pillow-tude, "I said things I shouldn't have, then I accidentally punched him in the nose."

"…You accidentally punched him?" Lucy repeated.

"I made him angry," Lynn chose to focus on the purring cat sprawled on her chest, unwilling to face her sister, "When he came at me, I acted on instinct. Before I realized what was going on, he had a bloody nose. I messed up bad, sis."

Lucy wasn't surprised that Lynn's aggression would cause problems. She had foreseen something like this in her various fortune telling. Part of her felt vindicated, as if this breakup were good – after all, Lynn _should_ be with Francisco, shouldn't she? A much larger part of her told her that the only solution was to get Clyde back with Lynn. How, though?

"What did you say, exactly?" Lucy asked.

"I… kept making fun of him," the jock's voice broke, but there were no tears. Lynn might have acted tough, but she did cry easily enough; now, though, it seemed she'd simply run out of tears. "Then I said his dads were weird. When he said he was offended, I got angry, and I just kept pushing him."

Lucy sighed. Boy, what a mess. Still, it wasn't beyond salvaging yet.

"I ruined the greatest thing to ever happen in my life," Lynn said, "Even if I had gone on to win an event in the Olympics, it still wouldn't compete with what we had."

Whoa. Lucy knew Lynn had been lovesick, but _that_ lovesick?

"It's not too late," Lucy said, "You could apologize…"

Lynn snorted and even the goth had to admit that idea seemed inadequate. How would you even word the apology? Sorry I insulted you and your family, then proceeded to badger you, then broke your nose? No, there wasn't a very good way to word that. They sat there a while longer, the silence only broken by Cliff's purring.

"We need ice cream," Lucy nodded to herself. In times of stress, nothing helped better than cold sweets. Lynn gave a noncommittal grunt, but the goth dragged her along out the door and through their waiting crowd of siblings. "Come on, girls! This is a Level 6 emergency."

The sisters all gasped while Lincoln furrowed his brow; what the heck were they talking about? The sisters rushed after Lynn and surrounded her with sisterly sympathy as they headed downstairs – even Lana and Lisa were acting unusually compassionate. Lincoln made to follow them, but Lucy barred his path, somehow having gotten out of the herd of sisters.

"We should probably talk," the goth said, "before you talk to Clyde."

"What?" Lincoln's eyes widened, "Does this have something to do with Clyde? He didn't… he didn't _do_ anything, did he? I-I can't believe he'd do something to my sister, it's impossible!"

"No, he didn't do anything," Lucy said, easing her brother's anxiety some, "Lynn is the one who… did something. I won't go into detail, since it's not my place to betray their confidence, but you should know that Lynn is heartbroken over what she did, and incredibly sorry. I know she wishes there was a way to fix things, but she can't think of one."

"Is Clyde alright?" Lincoln looked worried. He knew how… _difficult_ Lynn could be.

"I haven't talked to him," Lucy said, "You may want to check on him, though."

Lincoln quickly ran for his walkie-talkie, leaving Lucy by herself. She could hear her sisters downstairs.

"Girls, you can't eat all that ice cream before dinner!" Lynn Sr. said.

"It's a Level 6 emergency!" Lori snapped.

"Oh no!" Rita gasped.

"What the heck does that ma-"

"Let them go, Lynn!"

Lucy slipped down the stairs to catch up with her sisters as they piled into the van. She only hoped things would work out…

 **I decided to add some Cookie x Lincoln. Owe that to pikapika212 on Deviant Art. Also, the scene with Francisco, Lucy, and Haiku is a reference to Mon Cri's** ** _Intoxicating Relationships_** **.**


	6. Chapter 6

Clyde knew his fathers didn't buy his excuse for the bloody nose, but beyond their usual concern and over-attention, they didn't ask about Lynn. He had said he'd walked her home and everything was fine, and that he'd fallen and slammed his nose into the pavement on the walk back, tripping over a stick. Or something.

Howard and Harold had exchanged a knowing look, one laced with concern, anger, and great sadness. The young McBride had seen that _they_ had seen through his lie.

The fact they weren't badmouthing Lynn or threatening to press charges made him grateful – and increased his respect for his fathers astronomically.

Clyde lay on his bed for what was likely several hours before static caught his attention, followed by the voice of his best friend. His best friend, and unfortunately also the brother of the girl he had just left crying in the street. Clyde crinkled his eyes shut at the memory. He shouldn't feel so bad; Lynn had insulted him and then smashed his nose in. Logically, Clyde was dead to rights to break up. In fact, if he hadn't, everyone would have thought him an idiot or wuss, right? So why did it hurt so much?

"Clyde?" Lincoln's voice came out, "You there, buddy?"

Clyde sighed and grabbed the device, pressing the button.

"Yeah," he muttered, his tone suggesting he'd rather not talk right now. Lincoln ignored the hint.

"Are you doing alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Clyde forced a smile onto his face even though Lincoln couldn't see it.

"Dude, I know you two broke up," Lincoln said, his tone slightly insulted that Clyde thought he could pull one over on him, "I… I'm not mad at you. I don't even know what happened."

"Lynn didn't tell you?" Clyde sat up, surprised. He didn't expect her to sob to her family, of course, but he figured the jock would come up with some story and try to play it off as nothing. "How did you find out if she hasn't told you?"

"Lucy talked to her," Lincoln explained, "Lynn's really devastated… I don't know what to do, or say."

"She's not with you right now, is she?" Clyde asked, anxious. He didn't want Lynn to be overhearing their conversation.

"No," Lincoln shook his head, "My sisters took her on an emergency ice cream binge."

"Whoa, that bad?" Clyde asked, feeling horrible. He felt his blood boil, though. Why should he care?

"What did she do, exactly?" Lincoln asked, "Lynn's not the kind of person to mope around if someone did something to her, and I refuse to believe you would ever do anything to hurt her, so… logically, she's the one at fault. What did she do to you, buddy?"

Clyde felt his rage dissipate. Lynn wasn't blaming him, and Lincoln wasn't either, despite the fact he was super-protective of his sisters. No one blamed him, so why did he still feel bad?

"She made fun of my dads," Clyde explained, shortly. Lincoln gasped, knowing how highly Clyde regarded his fathers. "I lost my cool and tried to tackle her, but she punched me by reflex. My nose is pretty beat up…"

"Oh, Lynn…" Lincoln muttered, sadly, "Clyde, I'm so sorry she did that to you. She's never been very tactful. You didn't deserve any of that."

"You're not mad I tried to tackle your sister?" Clyde asked, startled by Lincoln's laugh.

"Are you kidding?" Lincoln chuckled, "I know you; she must have made you _really_ mad for you to try and attack her, and I know Lynn can defend herself. If I got mad every time Lynn got herself into a scrape, I'd be mad all the time!"

There was a lull in the conversation.

"She said we broke up?" Clyde asked, quietly. He hadn't really meant it when he said he never wanted to see her again…

"Actually, only Lucy said that, now that I think back…" Lincoln admitted, "Did… did you want to breakup?"

"I should," Clyde said, sternly, but then sighed, "but no. I don't want her to leave me, but at the same time… All she does is make fun of me and my family. She says I'm not manly, which wouldn't bug me so much, but coming from my girlfriend it makes me feel…! I don't know! It makes me feel…"

"Emasculated?" Lincoln threw out, knowing the feeling all too well, "Yeah, getting beat up by a girlfriend is something we both have in common now."

Clyde blinked at that. He had forgotten about Ronnie Anne and the borderline abusive relationship she shared with Lincoln. If Lincoln could take such a beating for a girl who constantly made fun of him…

"Why did you stay with her?" Clyde asked.

"Who, Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asked, "Oh, well, because… because I really liked her. I liked hanging out with her, and just being around her made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Um, don't tell her I said that if she comes to visit."

"Didn't the beatings ever bother you?" Clyde asked, "She hit you a lot."

"Yeah, she had a pretty mean right hook, too," Lincoln chuckled before sighing at the memories, "I know adults aren't supposed to be like that. I know that, when we're older, giving each other black eyes, fat lips, and bloody noses is a sign of serious abuse, but… Ronnie Anne is a kid, like me, and we weren't trying to be serious. For us, it was a cover-up, and I knew that. I accepted that, and I kept hanging out with her despite that, because I…"

"Because you loved her?" Clyde finished.

"Pfft, what?!" Lincoln sputtered, defensively, "N-no! That chick is crazy!"

"Uh-huh," Clyde smiled at his friend's denial, "So I shouldn't take Lynn making fun of me so personally?"

"She's a teenage jock," Lincoln snorted, "If you think you have it bad, you should be me for a day. Or listen to the insults she trades with her teammates – my gosh, they made my ears burn!"

"Would she even want me, still?" Clyde asked, "I mean, I just left her sobbing in the street after she punched me… If I overreacted, I mean…"

"Clyde, you didn't overreact," Lincoln said, "I may have implied you shouldn't take everything she says personally, but by the same token, Lynn needs to learn not everyone has as thick a skin as her jock friends. Words hurt people, and she's probably just learned that the hard way."

"I don't want us to breakup," Clyde said, feeling silly for saying it.

"Then talk to her," Lincoln chuckled, "I'll radio when the iron's hot, and you come over. Sometime in the next couple of days, after the smoke clears."

"Thanks, Linc. You're the best friend a guy could have," Clyde said.

"Anything for my wingman," Lincoln smiled.

"Your sisters were right, too," Clyde laughed, "You really are an insanely good matchmaker!"

"I'm not a matchmaker!" Lincoln snapped, before taking a calming breath, "Just… hang in there, okay buddy?"

"Sure thing," Clyde grinned.

They ended their conversation and the afroed child stared at the walkie-talkie in contemplation. Lincoln was right, of course… What were a few harsh words and a scuffle between kids? If that incident had happened between Clyde and Lincoln, rather than Lynn, Clyde had no doubt he and Lincoln would have worked out their differences and gone back to being friends. If he could overlook Lincoln doing it because of their longstanding friendship, then couldn't he overlook Lynn's transgression because of his love for her?

Clyde smiled to himself. He wasn't an idiot or a fool for still wanting to be with Lynn. At least, not any more than Lincoln was for wanting to be with Ronnie Anne.

All he had to do was wait…

…

Lynn's eyes fluttered open at Lincoln's footsteps down their stairs. Sunday's afternoon light was creeping through the blinds and curtains on the windows, and Lynn felt a slight panic that she had missed her morning workout regimen. A cramping in her stomach, along with some sugar-induced nausea, reminded her why she was surrounded by her sisters and empty tubs of ice cream in the living room.

The events of yesterday came back and she almost broke down again, her heart twisting painfully. Lincoln was watching her from the kitchen, looking up now and then as he made himself a sandwich. Lynn hardly noticed. She was still recalling the sisterly sleepover in the living room and the copious amount of ice cream ingested. The jock wondered how many reps she'd have to do just to work off her pity indulgence, on top of the workouts she had missed because she had been wallowing. Yeesh, it would take hours to catch up…

Finally, she noticed her brother standing in the doorway to the kitchen, eating his sandwich and watching her. All their sisters were still sleeping, each of them trying to sleep off their confectionary-induced comas. Figuring her brother wanted to talk to her in private – and likely over what she was dreading – Lynn sighed and approached him. He offered her the other half of his sandwich while leading her to the dining room, which she took, gratefully.

"So," Lynn mumbled, "have you talked to Clyde?"

"Last night," Lincoln nodded, watching his sister from across the dining room table.

"I bet he had some choice words about me," the jock cracked a bitter grin, "I deserve them…"

"You don't give Clyde enough credit," Lincoln said with a small smile, "He never said anything bad about you. In fact, he blamed himself."

"He blamed him…?!" Lynn muttered, wide-eyed, "He can't do that! I'm the one at fault, not him!"

"He thought he overreacted," Lincoln shrugged, "I told him he did, a little. I mean, he's not used to your abrasiveness like I am."

"I-I still shouldn't have wound him up like that," Lynn said, face flushed in shame.

"No, you shouldn't have," Lincoln agreed, "Clyde's not like your friends, Lynn. He doesn't trade insults all the time, so he's pretty sensitive about that kind of stuff. He doesn't know you don't mean anything by it."

"Like you guys?" Lynn raised an eyebrow, remembering this wasn't the first time her challenges and trash talk had upset her family.

"Even worse," her brother said, "You have to remember that we're _used_ to your banter. We've grown up with you for _years_ , and we still take it personal sometimes. Clyde's never really been exposed to that kind of harassment, before, except from bullies."

"Oh man, is that how he sees me, now?" Lynn looked horrified, "Do I act like a bully?"

"Sometimes," Lincoln shrugged, "Look, don't overthink it. Just… in the future, remember to be less insulting and more honest. I mean, maybe don't insult his masculinity so much. Or mine, for that matter."

"Since when did you two care about being manly?" Lynn snorted, "I mean, you two like to stay indoors and you do things most guys I know wouldn't consider. How many guys are willing to go to the spa with their sisters?"

"See, there you go again," Lincoln sighed and Lynn's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, "Look, Clyde and I might not be super-physical men obsessed with crude humor and brawls, but we're still _men_ , Lynn. It's very... _demeaning_ when girls we respect don't view us as such."

Lynn pursed her lips in thought, trying to wrap her head around that, so Lincoln gave an example.

"You don't act very much like a girl, do you?" he pointed out, "How would you like it if Clyde kept saying you weren't very womanly?"

Lynn was about to report that she didn't care about being a woman, but then she thought about it coming from Clyde. Lynn never liked to feel particularly girly or effeminate; it was much more fun to get dirty, break a sweat, and maybe get into a good fight now and again. Still, when Clyde treated her like a woman, it made her feel… valued. When he complemented her femininity (which she long convinced herself she didn't have), it made her feel _normal_. She didn't care for gender roles any more than her brother, but there was something gratifying when a person you cared about assured you that you were in the right body. Realizing this, the jock buried her head in her hands and groaned.

"I'm an idiot," she mumbled.

"No," Lincoln smirked, "you're thirteen. You're still growing, and this is your first relationship, so you're expected to make mistakes."

"Geeze, you sound like mom or dad," Lynn snorted, "Are you really Lincoln?"

Lincoln chuckled before frowning.

"You know, it's weird…" he said, "Everyone says I'm giving really good romantic advice, that I'm a love guru or a matchmaker, but…"

Lynn waited for him to finish the thought but he only stood up and stretched.

"Anyway, do you need some time to recover?" he asked, suddenly.

"Recover?" the jock raised a questioning eyebrow, "Recover for what?"

"To talk to Clyde," Lincoln smiled.

"I-I can't face him!" Lynn blushed, madly, "He doesn't want to talk to me, anyway."

Lincoln smirked, too cheeky for Lynn's liking, as he raised a walkie-talkie.

"Lincoln…" the jock warned.

"Clyde, you there, buddy?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah," Clyde's voice came in through the speaker, "What's up?"

"Don't!" Lynn paled, preparing to vault over the table and tackle her brother.

"The iron is hot!" Lincoln shouted, "Come over, ASAP!"

Lynn began shouting protests, but Lincoln had removed his thumb from the button and the batteries from the device. Just in time, too, as Lynn barreled over the table to tackle her brother, full-force, through the doorway. They tumbled into the living room, cursing and jabbing. Normally, Lynn could easily overpower her siblings, but Lincoln was her regular sparring partner and knew all her moves. They rolled over each of their sisters, waking them up with their shouts and loose kicks and punches. Lola growled and joined in the fray, as did Luna, and soon the rest.

"What's going on here?!" their father demanded, stopping the brawl with four simple words.

"They started it!" Lola said, pointing to Lynn and Lincoln, their sisters agreeing with the pageant queen.

"Why?" Rita asked with a sigh. In their household, anything was an excuse it seemed.

"Lincoln called Clyde over!" Lynn shouted, indignantly.

"Lincoln!" Leni gasped, wide-eyed.

"Bro, not cool!" Luna scowled.

"Hold it!" Lincoln shouted, stopping the impending tidal wave of sisterly disapproval, "I called him over for Lynn."

"Isn't that a little premature?" Lori asked, "I mean, they totally broke up, didn't they?"

"Clyde didn't want to," Lincoln explained, "he was just angry, especially with the bloody nose."

Everyone other than Lincoln and Lucy turned to stare at Lynn, who blushed in embarrassment. In her sulking, she had neglected to tell them the exact details about the breakup to anyone other than Lucy. Lynn Sr. was massaging the bridge of his nose in annoyance. His daughters would be the death of him.

"It's complicated," Lincoln assured them, "but Clyde doesn't want to breakup. Trust me. He's _crazy_ about Lynn."

"I guess any guy who can take a punch from Lynn is tough enough for her," Lynn Sr. mumbled, usually picky on the boys his daughters dated.

"Well," Rita crossed her arms, puckering her lips in contemplation, "You can't meet your boyfriend looking like that."

Lynn paled, knowing what was coming.

"Girls!" Lori snapped her fingers, eliciting grins from her sisters, barring Lynn, "Gamma-Delta protocol, subroutine: _Lynn01_."

"Oh no," Lynn said, meekly, before her sisters grabbed her and carried her bodily up the stairs. She growled, loudly. "You're dead, Lincoln!"

Lincoln allowed himself a self-assured smirk. That had worked out pretty well. Lynn Sr. didn't say anything, but pat his son on the shoulder, approvingly, before moving on to the kitchen. Rita kissed his forehead, making him mutter something in embarrassment even though no one saw.

For the next twenty minutes he waited for Clyde. The lack of distraction made his mind wander and he started to panic. What if Clyde didn't show up? What if he changed his mind? What if he remembered how angry he was and went off on Lynn? Lincoln didn't think he could bear to be put in that situation. Firstly, it would be a huge mistake on his part for having instigated the whole thing, and every one of his relatives would be heartbroken after he raised their hopes like that. Secondly, it would cause an almost irreparable rift between the Louds and the McBrides from the rejection, making it virtually impossible for him to hang out with his best friend. Finally, everyone would realize he wasn't a matchmaking genius!

Wait, that last one wasn't bad at all…

Lincoln almost missed the doorbell ringing, so deep in thought, but he answered it as quick as lightning. Standing there was Clyde, looking sick with anxiety and just awful, physically. Lincoln whistled, impressed by the beat-up nose. Even Ronnie Anne couldn't mess a face up that bad. Fortunately, it would heal well enough, and Clyde never mentioned anything being broken. Aside from that, Clyde wore his nicest sweater and had a small gift bag with him.

"Sorry it took so long," Clyde said, "My dads weren't too thrilled with me coming here so soon after, um… I _tripped_."

"Is that what you told them?" Lincoln failed to hold back a guffaw as he let his best friend inside. Then his demeanor changed. "Y-you aren't breaking up with her, are you?"

"W-what?" Clyde blushed, "No, I don't want to. Why, did she say she wanted to…?"

"No!" Lincoln said, quickly, "I just wanted to make sure, since I _maybe_ implied to everyone that you two still were a thing. What's in the bag?"

"Lynn's birthday gift," Clyde shrugged, "I know it's a few weeks early, but I wanted to apologize. I mean, I left her crying in the street, Lincoln… I can't get that image out of my head!"

"Well, maybe _that_ will get it out for you," Lincoln muttered in surprise.

Clyde looked where his friend was pointing and felt his nose bleed as Lynn walked down the stairs. Or, rather, tried to walk. Clutching the rail as elegantly as she could, Lynn's face was flushed in embarrassment. She wore a brilliant red dress that put Lola's to shame, sleeveless with a light dip in the neckline that fortunately didn't enunciate how flat-chested she was. Besides the long dress with its trailing fabric, her sisters had put her in heels – heels! – which she had never learned to walk in. Her hair was done up in an interesting braid, her bangs brushed to one side, and her face lined with lipstick and eyeliner. She felt stupid.

Then she saw Clyde and her heart hitched. He was looking at her with that same love-struck, boyish grin he used to look at her at – no, this one was even more obvious. He looked like he'd pass out from all that blood spilling out of his nose. Oh, and all over his nice sweater, too. Lynn couldn't help but smile a little as he waited at the foot of the steps. She felt like a fairytale princess and, oddly, the sensation made her all giddy rather than disgusted.

Her sisters were watching from the top of the stairs, sharing looks of concern.

"I, like, think we _may_ have overdone it," Leni noted, earning nods of agreement from her siblings. Lynn looked really uncomfortable, but hey, it was working.

Then Lynn tripped, her heels snagging in the loose fabric of her dress. Feeling the dress tug down her chest, Lynn let go of the railing to hold up the dress and toppled forward, muttering a curse. She had fallen down the stairs before and braced herself for the discomfort, but it never came. She opened her eyes and saw that Clyde had caught her, the occasional drop of blood splashing against her cheek.

"Gross," Lori muttered, earning a shushing from her sisters.

"N-nice of you to drop in," Clyde couldn't help it.

"Ha!" Luan cried from upstairs.

"You're quite the catcher," Lynn managed to say, her voice a little squeaky as she felt the warmth bleed from his arms into her torso.

"You should see my curveball," Clyde smiled, then frowned, helping Lynn to her feet, "I thought you weren't going to do this anymore."

"D-do what anymore?" Lynn asked, regaining some composure. Clyde was just… talking to her. No yelling, no scowling, no hurtful words. He was acting like their spat never happened.

"Get all gussied up like this," Clyde gestured at the dress, "Are you wearing heels? You _hate_ heels!"

"What makes you think I did this just for you?" Lynn crossed her arms, trying not to smile at the fact she'd done the same after their first date. Clyde only smirked a little, remembering why he was there.

"I'm sorry I overreacted," he said, eyes downcast, "I should realize, by now, that you don't mean what you say. I just… I love my dads, and when people make fun of them – even if it's just a joke – I get defensive."

"You made fun of the guys?" Lynn Sr. asked from behind the couch, startling the kids.

"Dear, shush!" Rita whispered.

"A-are you guys spying on us?" Lynn asked, blushing in embarrassment. Her sisters she expected, but her parents?! Was nothing sacred?

"Pay no attention to the parents behind the couch!" their father bellowed, "It is only an illusion!"

"Anyway," Lynn muttered before returning to looking at Clyde, "You don't need to apologize. I should have been more considerate… Lincoln's right; you're _not_ one of my jock friends. Heckling isn't part of your relationships, like it is with me, but I just kept on pushing you. I was acting like a bully, and that's not how I want to treat you."

They stood there in silence, wondering what to say before Lynn realized she had forgotten to say the most important thing. She blushed at her forgetfulness, since she wasn't used to doing this.

"I'm sorry," she said, putting her hands on Clyde's shoulders, "I'm sorry for making fun of your dads, and I'm sorry for saying you aren't manly. You are a man, Clyde – well, you will be – and you are the sweetest, coolest guy I know. You don't need to act like us jocks to prove you're a guy any more than I need to act like…" she gestured at her dress, "… _this_ to prove I'm a girl."

They stared into each other's eyes, longingly. They'd apologized, they still wanted to be together, so… why weren't they saying it? Lincoln furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what the heck was taking them so long.

"I, uh, wish there was some way I could make it up to you, though," Lynn admitted, "I mean, I _did_ almost break your nose."

"That was just self-defense," Clyde blushed, "I forgive you for that. I forgive you for everything."

"Still," Lynn brought Clyde in closer, staring down into his eyes with half-lidded eyes, deepening his blush, "isn't there anything I can do to help?"

"I wouldn't mind a kiss," Clyde confessed.

"What?!" Lynn Sr. shot up from behind the couch before being dragged down by his wife.

"Bold, Romeo," Lynn chuckled, closing her eyes and parting her lips. She felt them press against a finger and she opened her eyes.

"Not yet," the afroed preteen shook his head with a wry grin, "First, I'd like you to go back to being _you_. You can't be comfortable in that."

"My heels are killing me, to be honest," Lynn laughed, "and this dress is very tight in some places."

Clyde helped Lynn up the stairs then slid down the rail to retrieve her gift while she changed. He gave a nervous smile at Lynn Sr. glaring at him, but was slightly reassured by the thumbs-up all of the Loud children were giving him.

"Dude, Clyde's pretty slick," Luna whispered.

"I know," Luan replied, "and Lincoln's a genius for getting them together. And you and Sam."

"He, like, needs to help me figure out what to say to my crush," Leni pouted.

"Maybe," Lucy exchanged a look with Lori, "maybe we should help him, first."

"What?" Lola asked, "Lincoln needs help getting a girlfriend?"

"He could totally do it on his own," Lori assured them, "but Lucy and I, well, we think he might have overlooked a choice candidate."

Before the conversation could continue, Lynn opened her door, spinning and dancing with giddiness, which startled her siblings. She didn't care, dressed in her favorite jersey and shorts, sliding down the stairway rail and sticking a perfect landing before her boyfriend. Her boyfriend! She was so elated that he still wanted to be with her.

"What do you have there?" Lynn asked, only now remembering the little shopping bag he had come in with.

"It was supposed to be a birthday gift," Clyde admitted, "but I thought I'd give it to you now, to show you how much I love you and want to be with you."

"Wow, don't be so cheesy," Lynn laughed, nervously, face as red as a beet. Why was he so affectionate and considerate?! She opened the bag and pulled out an old baseball, eyes widening as she recognized the signatures. "Holy cow! This is a ball from the 1968 game where Royal Woods thrashed our rivals! It's signed by the entire '68 team! Clyde, where did you even find this?!"

"When we went antiquing," Clyde explained, "I had to hide it from you."

"Th-this thing must have cost a fortune…" Lynn muttered. How the heck was she supposed to match it with a gift?!

"Actually, it was pretty cheap," the preteen noted, "I managed to talk the shopkeeper down to $50."

Clyde didn't have the heart to tell her that few people cared enough about local sports and that the shopkeeper was almost desperate to sell it. It had been sitting on the shelf since the '80s, apparently.

"This is so sweet," Lynn teared up, "Are you ready for your gift?"

Clyde was about to ask what, but Lynn had brought him in and dipped him, kissing him deeply. They melted into each other, eliciting "d'aw"s from her sisters upstairs, a gagging noise from her brother, and… crying from her dad?

"My little Junior's growing up," Lynn Sr. scrubbed his eyes, "Oh man, how many more daughters do I have to lose?!"

"Easy, Lynn," Rita said in a deadpan.

"There's still the whole afternoon left," Clyde brought up after they broke the kiss, "Did you want to go to the park and play catch? Or something?"

"Anything beats being watched by my family," Lynn laughed, leading Clyde to the doorway, "Oh, one second. I'll be right out."

Lynn rushed upstairs with her gift and opened her closet. Sitting on one of her shelves was a collection of sports memorabilia, most of it signed. She found a stand for the ball and gently placed it on the shelf before covering it with a glass case, grinning like an idiot. She turned around and saw her siblings watching her – grinning like bigger idiots. She rolled her eyes and groaned.

"I'm going out!" she yelled as she ran downstairs and outside, "I'll be home by dinner, bye!"

And with that, the door closed and the rest of Loud family cheered. Even Lynn Sr.

"Well, time to go enjoy some comics," Lincoln chuckled, turning around. He frowned at the wall of sisters barring his path – barring Lori, Luna, and Lynn. They were grinning madly, expectantly.

"Uh oh…" he mumbled.

…

"Thanks, come again," the girl said sweetly as Haiku and Francisco bought some cookies from her booth.

The couple sat down, each vaguely remembering seeing that little girl around school before, but not being able to place a name to her. Ignoring that lack of information, the couple returned to their bench at the park. The weather was becoming chilly again as fall picked up speed. Francisco had taken to wearing a coat, while Haiku wore a turtleneck. It was a nice, brisk, Sunday afternoon, and now they had fresh, warm cookies to enjoy at the park. Could the day get any better?

"These are really good," Francisco commented. He still talked with his mouth open, but had taken to shielding it with his hand in an effort to be polite.

"They are," Haiku agreed, smiling at Francisco's attempt to be cordial.

They reclined on the top of the bench after their snacks to watch the autumn clouds. Normally, Francisco would be enjoying practice or a maybe a rousing game of catch, but he did these things all the time. Sometimes, he realized, it was nice to just slow down and look at the natural beauty of the world. His eyes flickered to Haiku, a natural beauty he could watch all day. He looked away, blushing, when she looked at him.

Haiku giggled. She still considered herself a goth, but even she had to admit that Francisco made her so… happy. She didn't have that sinking depression and love for misery that she was supposed to, and even though her boyfriend was so _normal_ , she couldn't help but love him. In fact, her love for him helped her understand the people she used to despise.

"I've got it!" they heard a familiar voice approaching rapidly, "Oof!"

Lynn had attempted a jump to catch a ball just out of her reach but ended up toppling over the bench, rolling into Haiku and Francisco, and knocking them all into a heap on the other side. Clyde quickly sprinted to them, muttering a constant stream of "Oh my gosh!" as he approached.

"Lynn, are you okay?!" he asked, helping her out of the groaning heap and helping her dust off.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the jock giggled and pushed his concerned hands aside, reluctantly, "I've been in _way_ worse scrapes than that."

"Are you guys okay?" Clyde asked, approaching the couple, "We're so sorry about – wait, Haiku?"

Lynn's eyes widened at the sight of Francisco helping Haiku up and the romantic look they exchanged. She felt her jaw tense as old jealousy flared up, but she quickly squashed it. Francisco was her friend, and Clyde was her boyfriend. If she were being honest, Lynn would have _begged_ for Clyde to take her back if he demanded it, but she'd never admit to that. Still, that sense of jealousy was unnerving to her. If she loved Clyde – and she certainly did – why did she still have that annoying sensation when she saw her old crush with another girl?

"H-hey, Lynn," Francisco ignored Clyde's question.

The two jocks stared at each other in thought for a moment. Haiku felt her throat tighten. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? Her plan to be working? That silly plan that felt like something from another life? Lynn looked like she still wanted Francisco, and Francisco like he wanted Lynn. Yet… Haiku didn't want to lose Francisco, now, and seeing the old object of her affections – Clyde – she realized she didn't want him to be heartbroken over this. Seeing Clyde, she saw her anxiety mirrored in his face.

Then Lynn grinned and wrapped an arm around Clyde's shoulders, bringing him close to her side.

"You guys on a date, too?" she asked, forcing a smile out of Clyde by admitting to such a thing.

"Y-yeah," Francisco returned the grin, grabbing Haiku's hand. He hated to admit he felt a little tug at his heartstrings at seeing Lynn with Clyde, but he had someone far better – at least in his eyes.

"Geeze," Lynn chuckled, "What do you think the school thinks of us jocks, now? Dating kids two years younger than us…"

"Clyde, what happened to your nose?" Haiku asked.

"Uh…" the bespectacled child spared a glance at Lynn, who blushed in embarrassment, "I tripped."

"Oh," the goth nodded. That didn't make a lot of sense, but whatever.

"Hey, you guys should try out that cookie booth," Francisco suggested, pointing to a simple kiosk with a young, brunette girl sitting at it, "Those things are amazing!"

"Ugh, I'll pass," Lynn clutched her stomach, "I'm still working off an ice cream binge from yesterday."

"Oh my," Haiku gasped, knowing from Lucy what it meant for there to be an ice cream binge in the Loud household.

"Yeesh, Loud," Francisco smirked, "You're going to slow us down come game time if you're not careful."

"Oh please," Lynn snorted, getting cocky, "I can still run circles around you!"

"That a challenge?" Francisco asked.

"Yeah, it is!" Lynn retorted.

The two were about to run off, eager to prove their sportsmanship, but they stopped, blushing in embarrassment at their two forgotten dates. They looked like children looking for permission to have fun, and despite the worry both Haiku and Clyde felt, they couldn't say no to those slightly-pouting faces.

"Go have fun, you two," Haiku smiled, gently.

"Just don't wear her out _too_ much," Clyde warned, "I was about to beat her in our own game, and when I do, I want her in top form."

"In your dreams, lover boy," Lynn gave a bark of laughter, "And don't worry – Francisco will be the one out of steam!"

"You're all talk, Loud!" Francisco grinned, picking up the ball.

Clyde and Haiku sat at the bench, watching their respective partners throw difficult throws that the other had to strain to catch. Always the ball flew almost out of reach, and always the jocks managed to catch it with great effort. Eventually, Haiku decided to speak her mind since she finally had Clyde alone and their lovers were distracted.

"You know I had a crush on you, right?" she asked, quickly.

"Wh-what?!" Clyde sputtered.

"I had a crush on you," Haiku repeated, looking at his blushing face, "I was afraid to tell you, and when I found out you and Lynn were together, I… _may_ have started dating Francisco in an effort to make her jealous."

"You tried to break us up?" Clyde asked, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah," Haiku shrugged, "but at the time I was convinced _we_ belonged together and that you and Lynn were just a fluke. Then Francisco showed how sweet he is, and I… I don't know, I just sort of quit wanting the breakup to happen. If Francisco were to leave me for Lynn now, I'd be devastated. Then I'd be incensed."

"I know I'm only eleven, and this is probably premature, but…" Clyde shrugged, "if Lynn left me, I just couldn't imagine being with another girl. I mean, I'm sure I'd eventually get over it. After all, I got over Lori."

"And I got over my crush," Haiku felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment at the 200-year-old vampire. What a silly matchup that would be…

"I hope I never have to get over Lynn," the bespectacled boy noted, "I mean, I know we're young and we're still growing, changing, finding out who we are, but… I want to be with her forever, you know?"

"I know exactly how you feel," Haiku found herself watching as Lynn tackled Francisco into a pile of leaves, laughing.

Francisco shoved Lynn off of him, joining in her laughter. After a moment, they quit laughing and looked at each other. There was a lot unsaid in that look, a lot they would never say a few weeks ago, and yet now they were both more receptive to their emotions. Both had learned, in their own ways, the value of proper communication. They spared a glance at the bench where Clyde and Haiku were talking, out of earshot. Now was the best time to clear any residual feelings.

"I had a pretty big crush on you, you know," Lynn stated, matter-of-factly, "I started dating Clyde because I thought it might make you jealous."

"Really?" Francisco gaped, "Huh. I figured you had a crush on me, but when I saw you with Clyde I thought I had blown my chance. I swore the next girl that came along, I wouldn't make that mistake again."

"I thought you and Haiku were an odd pair," Lynn nodded, "I'm really glad things worked out the way they did. Clyde's so… perfect. And you seem really happy with Haiku."

"Oh man, I am!" Francisco gave one of his goofy grins, "I think – and don't take this the wrong way – that the two of us might not have been near as much fun."

"Really?" Lynn asked, surprised, "We have all the same interests, though. We'd always want to do the same stuff, and we'd always have a friend to play with."

"Yeah, but we already have that," Francisco shrugged, "Haiku makes me want to do _more_. I'm trying things I never thought I could do, much less wanted to."

"Really?" Lynn contemplated that. She had made Clyde do a lot of sports-related stuff, bonding over their shared interest in baseball, but she hadn't bothered to try his hobbies. "What kind of stuff?"

"Well, Haiku takes a lot of pride in the Japanese part of her heritage," Francisco explained, "She's introduced me to East Asian sports, Japanese poetry and calligraphy. I don't wanna brag, but she says I have quite the talent for writing haikus, and she's already taught me a dozen words in Japanese! She says I have a really steady hand when it comes to brushstrokes."

"I never knew you wanted to do poetry or calligraphy," Lynn was wide-eyed at that.

"Neither did I," the male jock explained, "or bonsai, for that matter. Dating Haiku, though, I was introduced to new hobbies and views. I mean, I never thought to just slow down and admire nature before. It makes me feel so… calm. If we had dated, I'd never know the joys of writing poetry, or growing trees, or exploring my own heritage, let alone another's."

"Wow, I never realized you could be so…" Lynn searched for the right word, "…poetic."

"It's great, isn't it?" Francisco flashed a grin, "I see dating Clyde has had a similar effect on you."

"How so?" Lynn asked.

"Well, you aren't as threatening or challenging as you usually are," Francisco shrugged, "and I bet you spend time just sitting around with him, watching the clouds."

"Yeah," the female jock fell back into a mess of leaves, staring up at the sky, "Dating him has really shown me that not everything has to be a challenge. Sometimes… sometimes we can just enjoy the ride."

Francisco reclined in his own pile of leaves, and soon Haiku and Clyde joined them. They formed a loose circle, lying in leaves and dead grass, making a mess of their autumn clothing, just staring up at the clouds. Minutes passed, maybe even hours, and they didn't care. The most effort they put forth was moving closer to their loved one, entwining fingers together, or snuggling into one another. There was no need for anything more. Things were so… perfect.

"I think this might be one of the best days of my life," Clyde said, at last, "Actually, I think these last few weeks have been the best _weeks_ of my life."

"Mine too," Lynn agreed.

"Same," Haiku nodded.

"Ditto," Francisco said.

The four youths simply laid there until it was time to return home.

…

Cookie sighed to herself when it was quitting time. She disassembled her bake stand and put it, along with the remaining Tupperware filled with cookies into the wagon she used to bring it all out there. She was grateful the weather wasn't too bad – a lot of customers had come through, purchasing her warm snacks. She smiled at the handy amount of cash she had earned and made her way back home.

Her thoughts drifted to the two young couples she had seen. One of the jocks hanging out with a goth girl two years his minor? That was a little weird, wasn't it? Then she had seen Lynn Loud Jr. with Clyde McBride… One of Lincoln's closest sisters had started dating his best friend? And she hadn't figured it out until now?!

She frowned at her agitation. She was getting worked up about it, which meant her fascination with Lincoln was beginning to become an unhealthy obsession. She pursed her lips at the thought, finding it really disturbing.

"Maybe he does know me," she mumbled to herself, "but he thinks I'm too creepy… I should probably quit laying it on so thick. After all, there is a such thing as _too_ much icing…"

Her face turned into a scowl as she realized she was walking around, alone, dragging a cart full of cookies, and talking to herself.

"I need to stop doing that," she winced as she realized she had said _that_ aloud, too.

It was going to be a long school week if she kept that up.

 **Alright, so we've passed the main pairing's major hiccup. The next few chapters are more like "epilogues", I guess, in that they wrap up the side pairings while showing off Lynn/Clyde adorableness. And Francisco/Haiku adorableness, too. There's not really anymore major conflict planned, but if you just like cute scenes, I'll try to fill that up. If you're here for drama, I doubt I'll put any more of that in.**

 **TL;DR: We're past the climax and on the downslope, people; it's wrapping up.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Been awhile.**

"I don't know about this, Lincoln," Luan confessed, looking at the simple plush with a pin, "This seems _really_ tacky, even for me."

"Exactly!" Lincoln assured his sister as they made their way through the mall to where her crush was sure to be, "If you want your crush to like you, you need to be yourself. After all, you want him to like _you_ , right? And nothing says 'Luan Loud' like cheesy jokes."

"But this isn't a joke," Luan furrowed her brow.

"Not in the traditional sense," her younger brother beamed, "but it takes all the same skills as a comedian: knowing your audience, confidence, and timing. And, if properly delivered, it'll make everyone smile."

"Huh," Luan tapped her chin, smiling at the thought, "I didn't think of it that way."

"There he is!" Lincoln whispered, "Quick, hand me the plush!"

Luan did as he asked and he disappeared into a small crowd, sneaking up on Benny. The curly-haired youth was window-shopping at one of the gag shops Luan frequented. He looked oddly indecisive, eyes flickering between various props and odd trinkets. Benny didn't notice as Lincoln stealthily pinned the small plush to the sleeve of his shirt. Lincoln backed away, flashing a grin and wink to the comedian. Luan controlled her breathing before putting on her most winning smile.

"Hey there, Benny!" she greeted as she approached. The curly-haired teen nearly jumped out of his skin and blushed, turning in a foolish effort to hide the fact he had been shopping at the prop store.

"L-Luan!" he cleared his throat after hearing it crack, "I didn't know you'd be here. Um, you looking for props?"

"Yes and no," Luan smirked. Despite being insanely nervous, she shared Luna's professional capacity to control her anxiety for performances. Inside she was screaming in panic, but her face and voice betrayed nothing. "I came here for some props, but it seems somebody stole my _heart_!"

Benny blinked at that, but before he could question what she meant, she gasped and pointed at his sleeve. Benny followed the gesture, his eyes widening as they took in the simple yellow plaid plush made in the shape of a heart pinned to his shirt sleeve. How had he not noticed that?! He blushed when he realized Luan was practically in his face, her shining smile glittering.

"I-I didn't mean to steal it," Benny laughed, before shaking his head, "I mean, I didn't st-"

"Oh, nobody _means_ to steal hearts," Luan said, gingerly removing the plush in what was an oddly enticing manner. She eyed the plush before titling her demure eyes to his. His breath hitched in his throat. "Besides, you can't _steal_ what's already yours."

Benny drew in a long breath, face cracking into a nervous grin.

"W-what's that mean?" he asked, voice cracking a little. He had his back to the glass, Luan trapping him without even holding him down. His eyes searched the passersby for help, but none stopped.

"It means…" Luan pursed her lips, letting some indecision show. She and Lincoln hadn't planned all this out to its fullest extent. She knew her brother had fled and she was on her own, now. She smiled, despite herself, and ran a hand along the sleeve the heart had been pinned to. "It means I really appreciate you for being the kind of person who… who wears their heart on their sleeve."

"B-but…" Benny cleared his throat again, "I thought this was _your_ heart."

"True," Luan said before tucking it in his shirt pocket and patting it, "but it belongs to _you_."

"W-what are you saying, Luan?" her crush blushed, eyes alight with hope. Or maybe that was just her hope being reflected back?

"I thought that'd be obvious by now," Luan giggled, her nervous blush finally breaking through her trained composure. She locked eyes with Benny, drinking in the emotion in his eyes. Were they a little dark and hazy with desire? Or was it just her seeing what she wanted to see? "I love you."

Benny's eyebrows shot up as his mouth hung open. He worked his mouth, ineffectively, for a few seconds, looking like a beached fish. Then he looked suddenly pained and Luan felt a twist in her heart.

"Is… is this some kind of joke?" he asked, anger edging his words, "I-it's not funny, Luan."

"Why would I joke about something like this?" Luan asked, trying to wear a disarming smile. Unfortunately, rather than looking genuine, it made her seem mocking, infuriating Benny further.

"Because you always joke about stuff!" he cried, quietly enough to avoid making a scene, but loud enough to make her flinch back in shock, "And I always endure your pranks and jokes because I – er… because you're a cool girl – um – _person_ to hang out with, but… if this is a joke, it's too far, Luan."

"Benny…" Luan's smile faded, "I'm completely serious for once. I know it's weird to hear, but I _can_ take things seriously now and then. I-I've loved you for a few months now." She gave a small smirk. "If this were a joke, would I _really_ have to explain it?"

"You never explain your jokes," Benny snorted, remembering the rules of comedy she frequently brought up, "If you had to explain it, it wouldn't be funny."

"Bingo, Benny," Luan winked, making him blush again. She moved in closer and enjoyed his deepening blush. "You know, it's a good thing you don't have braces, too."

"What?" the curly-haired boy asked, "Why?"

"Because I'd hate for them to get caught when I do this," Luan grabbed his cheeks and brought him in for a kiss. The poor boy was so shocked he stood there like an idiot before letting himself relax into it.

Somewhere, Lincoln was nodding to himself in satisfaction.

They pulled apart, somewhat reluctantly and laughed nervously. Luan twirled some loose hair near her cheek, feeling the same giddiness she got before a good performance. Benny rubbed his arm, unsure of what to say, but grinning like an idiot all the same.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" the comedian asked, at last, "Trying to get some new props for the drama department?"

"Um, no, actually," Benny's face heated up again and he avoided eye contact, "I was actually trying to find a gift… for a girl… who likes this kind of stuff…"

"Oh?" Luan asked, feeling a mix of hope and despair. It was pretty obvious what girl he would be talking about, but the anxious voice inside all people was telling her it could _possibly_ be another girl interested in the same stuff, and that everything she had done that day was going to end in humiliation. "Is she pretty?"

"She's beautiful," Benny said, looking straight into her eyes and making her face light up, "especially when she's smiling."

"She sounds like a girl who likes to laugh," the comedian wrapped her arms around the boy.

"She is," Benny nodded, returning the gesture, "Her laugh is the most enchanting thing I've ever heard! I could listen to it for hours."

"She'd be lucky to have you…" Luan mumbled, snuggling into his chest as they embraced.

"She already does," Benny said, softly.

Lincoln sighed, contentedly as he watched the latest of his successful sisterly-couples work itself out. He felt… confident, all of a sudden. After all, he had helped Lynn and Clyde not once, but twice, and had got Luna and Sam together. Now here stood a third couple that looked as stable and eternal as the others. Grinning, Lincoln felt like he could take on the world! He was finally going to do it; he was finally going to take his own advice and talk to Paige!

With a quick text to Luan telling her he'd be at the arcade, he jogged briskly. Opening the doors and stepping into his sanctuary, he was surprised to see two sisters there instead of one. Lori working there was no surprise – in fact, he had helped her schedule her shifts for the weekend – but to see _Lynn_ there?! He knew she liked video games, but it was still a surprise to see her inside when the weather was nice. He noticed his best friend and understood why.

"Best two out of three?" the jock asked, her competitiveness stoked by losing to her boyfriend.

"Only if we make it interesting," Clyde chuckled.

"Oh-ho, I didn't know you were a hustler!" Lynn grinned, viciously, "Alright, I like risk. Name the prize!"

"Loser buys the winner anything on the menu!" Clyde declared.

"You're on!" Lynn shot back.

Immediately they inserted their tokens into the game and entered a frenzy of button-mashing, not even noticing Lincoln had entered and passed them. He rolled his eyes at them, now closer than he had ever been with either of them. Sometimes hooking your best friend up with your sister was a horrible curse… Besides Lynn and Clyde, did he have anyone he hung out with all the time? No time for that, now! He scanned the girl of his dreams and found her at her game of choice, the competitive dance game. Smirking, he devised his cunning game plan.

Stepping up to the game, he cast a sidelong glance at her as she finished a difficult round. As she reclined against the rail, catching her breath, he offered a bottle of water he had bought from Lori's counter. She smiled and thanked him.

"Got enough energy for one more go?" he asked, "I haven't had a good match in ages!"

Paige smirked at the offer.

"Sure," she said, "if you think you can handle it."

"Oh, you're on!" Lincoln chuckled, echoing his sister.

They inserted their tokens and loosened themselves up as the game warmed up. Lincoln almost did a double take at the speed of the movements. He'd seen the song in the 'Insane' difficult menu before – a song called _Night of Nights_ … Lincoln was hard-pressed to keep up, but he was driven by the overwhelming desire to impress this girl – and _this_ was the greatest way to do it! He pushed himself to his limit, breaking into a sweat but forcing himself to carry that same calm collection, same confident grin and boyish charm he wore so well. The steps were furious, but he glided from one to the next as quickly as Paige did until they were moving as one. They had gathered a crowd, but he couldn't see them; he hadn't had this much fun since-

He almost missed a step at a powerful surge of emotion from memories, but managed to finish out the dance with grace. As soon as it ended, he allowed exhaustion to wipe his heart and mind clear of those lost days as he caught his breath. Paige did the same, grinning at him and flashing a thumbs up while the crowd – Lynn and Clyde among them – cheered.

"That was some fly footwork, man!" Paige giggled as she offered him his water bottle, "You can hang with me anytime."

"R-really?" Lincoln's eyes widened, but he regained his poise and put all his charm into his next words, "How about sometime after school? Just the two of us?"

Paige blinked, blushing slightly as the onlookers grinned. Lynn and Clyde, now well-aware of who Lincoln's crush was if they weren't before, leaned in expectantly.

"Oh, l-like a date, or something?" Paige asked.

"I hope so," Lincoln smiled, kindly, "but if you just want to hang out as friends, no pressure."

"Cool," Paige let out a pent-up breath, smiling in relief, "You're a cool dude, but I'm, um… sort of into someone else at the moment. If you still want to hang out – as friends – though, well, like I said you're an awesome dude."

"Sounds good," Lincoln forced himself to suppress the rip running through his heart, beaming all the kindness he could muster.

Paige gave the date and time before leaving, and the crowd disintegrated, many nodding approvingly at Lincoln's maturity in the face of rejection. All but two members of the crowd, of course, who looked at their comrade with sympathetic pain etched on their faces. Once he was sure only they were watching, he let his face fall and a sigh escape his lips.

"Sorry, bro," Clyde said, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

"That little…" Lynn muttered, angrily, "she has no idea who she just passed up!"

"It's fine," Lincoln chuckled, grimly, before pulling himself together, "Anyway, I've got nothing better to do for a few hours. I know you two are probably on a date, but I could really use some company…"

"Say no more," Lynn assured her brother, wrapping her arms around his and Clyde's shoulders, "If there's one thing Clyde and I can _always_ agree on, it's hanging out with you."

"Thanks," Lincoln gave a small smile, "What did I ever do to deserve such good friends and sisters?"

"What did you ever do?" Lynn repeated, startled, "Dude, what _haven't_ you done to deserve good things?!"

"You're one of the most generous people I know!" Clyde stated, "And that's before Lynn told me about all the times you selflessly helped your sisters."

"I'm still surprised you never bragged about any of that to Clyde," Lynn noted.

"He's very modest," Clyde agreed.

"Geeze, dial it back," Lincoln snorted, "You're making me blush."

"Look," Lynn said, bringing her brother in closer, "I know it seems bad right now, what with your crushes either rejecting you or moving away…"

"Thanks for the reminder…" her brother muttered.

"…but it'll get better," Lynn continued, "You're a great guy. You're courageous, loyal, selfless, kindhearted, intelligent, and – and don't tell _anyone_ I said this – pretty cute. Keep being you, and I guarantee girls will line up at your door before long."

"Cute, huh?" Lincoln snorted, crying out when the jock slugged him in the arm, "Ow!"

"Besides, if you can't find a girl," Lynn added with a cheeky grin, "you could always try Leni. I'm sure she'd marry you if you said the right words."

"That's not funny, Lynn," Lincoln's face scrunched up in conflicted emotions. _Leni_?! His sweet, naïve, innocent sister?! What sick man would imagine such a thing?! (Author snickers).

"I don't know," Clyde chuckled along with his girlfriend, "it was kind of funny."

Great, Lincoln rolled his eyes, now Clyde shared her sense of humor.

"Anyway, are you guys up for a match of skee-ball or not?" Lincoln asked.

Lori watched with mixed feelings as two of her younger siblings and Clyde made their way towards the skee-ball alley, chatting it up like the old friends they were. She couldn't help but feel saddened by Paige's rejection, knowing that if _any_ guy (other than her precious Boo-Boo Bear, of course) deserved a loving partner, it was her precious brother. She set her face in determination, scaring a few of her customers who only wanted nachos; tonight she'd call a meeting of the sisters and set their plan into motion!

Lincoln would have a date by next weekend, even if it took every trick in their collective playbooks.

…

"…and then we went to see that new romantic comedy! I gotta tell you, Luna, the date was amazing!" Luan giggled as she downed a pudding cup, reclining against the counter with her roommate.

"Sounds like a blast," Luna chuckled, happy to see her sister in high spirits. The rocker had begun to feel a little guilty that she was so happy, romantically, so it was nice to see other people benefiting from Lincoln's magic.

"I wonder who he'll get together next?" Luan tapped her chin.

"No one, girls," Lori declared as she strolled in, still in her work uniform, which startled her sisters. First thing she did as soon as she came home was change out of the dreaded attire. "Call the others together; it's time for a sister meeting."

"What for?" Luna raised an eyebrow, "Did we do something wrong?"

"We literally _all_ did something wrong," Lori said, simply, heading upstairs without further comment.

After sparing a confused glance at one another, Luna and Luan set about gathering the other sisters together. Within the hour they were all gathered in Lori and Leni's room, talking over one another as to what they meeting was about. Lynn was voicing her annoyance at having to skip her intense training sessions – since dating Clyde, she had made every effort possible to increase her training in the shorter times she had for it. Leni sympathized with the twins and Lisa over not having landed their crushes yet, while Lucy remained silent; with _two_ love interests, she didn't feel the need to complain. The talking ceased when Lori entered and closed the door behind her.

"You're probably wondering why I've gathered you here," she said, evenly, "To sum it up: we totally failed!"

Lori sobbed a little, startling her sisters.

"Failed?" Leni asked, "At what?"

"Lincoln has literally been helping most of us with our relationship problems," Lori explained, "and not just recently. Remember when he went on that date with Ronnie Anne just to keep me and Bobby together?"

A murmur of agreeance.

"You asked what we failed at, Leni?" Lori sniffed, "We failed at helping Lincoln with _his_ relationships! Besides telling him to kiss Ronnie Anne, we have literally _never_ helped him!"

"Hey, we hooked him up with dates to the Sadie Hawkins Dance!" Lynn challenged.

"Dates that ended up going out with his friends," Luna noted.

"After Lincoln bailed on them to hang with Ronnie Anne," Luan added.

"He never asked for assistance," Lucy pointed out.

"Did any of us ever need to ask him?" Lori said, "Well, sometimes, but still – he's helped us a lot more than we've helped him, and now we've failed!"

"You keep saying that!" Lola groaned, "How did we fail?"

"Lincoln literally had his heart broken today after he was rejected by his crush," Lori said, causing all the sisters other than Lynn to gasp, "He's been spending the last few weeks helping each of you with your crushes – and has helped me with Bobby in the past – and when he needed our help, we-"

"Failed, yeah we know," Lana sighed.

"Should we tell them about Cookie?" Lucy inquired, drawing all eyes to her.

"I've heard confectionaries do aid in recovering from emotionally traumatic experiences," Lisa lisped, "but I think it will take much more than a few glucose-laden baked goods to help our mutual fraternal unit."

"Yeah, what she said!" Leni stomped her foot, defiantly, earning a sigh from the young genius.

"Cookie is a girl who likes Lincoln," Lori explained, "Lucy and I have been trying to figure out if we should set her up with Lincoln or not."

"It might not be the best time right now…" Luan said, cautiously.

"Are you kidding?" Lynn laughed, "This is the perfect time! It's like judo; you've gotta strike when your opponent is unbalanced!"

"Lynn, I don't think-" Lucy began.

"Exactly!" Lynn grinned, "Don't think! 'No mind', like kendo!"

"Judo? Kendo?" Lisa raised an eyebrow, "Lynn, when did you become interested in Japanese martial arts?"

"It's Francisco," Lucy sighed, "Haiku's family is friends with a local dojo. She's never been interested in the stuff, but her boyfriend is. Naturally, he wanted a sparring partner…"

"And, I don't mean to brag-" Lynn cracked her knuckles.

"Yes you do," Luan interjected with a smile.

"-but I'm _pret-ty_ good," Lynn chose to ignore her older sister's remark.

"She's also been spending more time playing video games than Lincoln does," Lucy added before smirking, "so she can beat her _boyfriend_."

"Oh, lay off," Lynn pouted as her other sisters snickered.

"Fascinating," Lisa jotted notes down over Lynn's evolving behavior.

"Girls, we're getting off topic," Lori said, "Let's put it to a vote. Should we set Lincoln up with Cookie now, or wait?"

"Hmm, that's a toughie," Luna put her chin on her fist, "I mean, if we try it immediately, he might get worked up – or drag his feelings for the old girl in with the new one, which wouldn't help much."

"Yeah," Lynn conceded, "but if we wait, he's just going to sulk and obsess over lost love. Trust me."

None of her sisters argued the point considering that she was the only one other than Lori to have a severe break-up (even if it had only lasted a day).

"Still, you can't start a healthy relationship off if the dude is still wanting another chick," Luna warned, "His heart's gotta be in it, and that means he needs some time to heal and get over her."

"Who was it, anyway?" Luan asked.

"Some girl named Paige," Lynn shrugged. None of the others would know her since only she and Lincoln were in middle school. "Redhead, hangs out at the arcade a lot. Pretty, I guess."

" _Another_ redhead?" Luan snorted, "Lincoln likes them fiery."

"Ronnie Anne wasn't a redhead," Leni pointed out.

"Ah, but he didn't have a crush on Ronnie Anne until we pointed out she liked him," Luna smirked at the memory, "Man, she had a mean right hook."

"The shiner she gave him…" Luan whistled.

"So romantic," Lynn said and all the girls sighed at the beauty of it. The jock straightened up. "Anyway, I vote we hook them up immediately."

"I say we should wait a week or two before we try getting him back in the saddle," Luna cautioned.

"Great, a vote for and a vote against," Lori murmured, "Everyone else?"

Within a few minutes the votes had been cast: Lynn, Lori, Lucy, Lana, and Lola all agreed that there was no point in putting off the blind date just so Lincoln could sulk, while Luna, Luan, Lisa, and Leni all agreed he should have time to recover. The vote seemed settled until Lily was brought into it.

"She's a baby!" Lynn slapped her forehead, "She has no idea what we're talking about!"

"She's quite advanced for her age," Lisa defended her infant roommate, "even if her speech is unrefined."

"Like, go on Lily!" Leni beamed, "What do you think we should do? Set Lincoln up on his date now, or wait?"

Lily looked between the two groups before giggling happily and waving her chubby arms rapidly.

"Wait!" she gurgled. It was a simple word, and pronounced with the almost gibberish nature of a baby, but it was enough for the defenders of waiting to claim it as a vote.

"That's just a fluke!" Lynn growled, "I demanded a recount! I vote now!"

"Now!" the twins agreed as one.

"Wait!" Luna said with Luan right on her heels.

"Now!" Lori said.

"Wait!" Leni said.

"I, too, vote we wait," Lisa said.

"I say now," Lucy said, "We could all die tomorrow."

"Wait!" Lily repeated, making it painfully clear the vote was at a standstill.

"Great," Lori sighed, "Now we need a tiebreaker!"

"Mom and dad are out right now, and we have to keep this in the family," Luan smirked at her own innuendo, though only Luna and Lori caught it, both rolling their eyes, "So, who are we supposed to ask? Lincoln?"

As Luan's laughter died, the comedian saw her sisters pondering that suggestion.

"It was a joke, girls," she said.

"No, wait," Luna tapped her chin, "you might be onto something there…"

"If we present the vote in the form of a hypothetical question," Lisa nodded, slowly, "then he would give us an impartial answer."

"Considering his track record with good dating advice," Lynn smirked, "I have no doubt his choice will be the right one."

"Well, who do we send to ask him?" Luna looked at each of them, "No offense, but most of us will try to twist it so he votes in favor of our choice."

"Well, there is one person here who lacks deception," Lori looked at Leni. Immediately all the sisters looked to her.

"What am I doing?" the fashionista smiled softly.

"Literally all you have to do is ask Lincoln if a friend of yours should wait before going on a date – even though it might lead to him sulking – or if he should just start dating immediately after a rejection."

"Wait, one of my friends was rejected?!" Leni gasped, "That's awful! Who was it?"

"No, Leni, sweetie," Lori tried to contain her annoyance, "Lincoln's the one who was rejected."

"So I'm asking Lincoln advice for… Lincoln?" the second-oldest sibling clutched her head.

"Yes, but you need to pretend it's advice for a friend so he answers honestly," Lori explained, slowly.

"Isn't that lying, though?" Leni pouted.

"In this case it's for his own good," Lucy explained, "If he knows he's giving himself advice, he won't give the right answer – just the answer he wants to hear. You have to keep it secret until he answers the question."

"Don't worry, Leni," Luna wrapped an arm around her elder sibling's shoulder, "it won't take more than five minutes, then you can tell the truth. It's… just a little white lie."

"Oh," Leni's face alternated between confusion and smiling, "That… makes sense. I guess."

"We're right behind you, Leni!" Luan grinned as they forcefully pushed Leni out of the room and towards the stairwell.

The second-eldest child grimaced as she went downstairs to find her brother. Sure enough, he was there, watching television with an oddly vacant expression. From what she'd gathered, he'd been doing that since he came home from the arcade. He didn't look hurt, but Leni could feel a pain inside him. Poor guy, she thought. Steeling her resolve, she approached him.

"Hey Lincy," she beamed at him and was pleased to see some light enter his eyes and a smile tug his lips, "I need some advice."

"Oh man," Lincoln sighed, his cautious happiness fading quickly, "I really don't want to help you guys anymore. No offense, but I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, it's not like that!" Leni giggled, "I have a friend who was rejected recently, but they, like, can totes get another date! Should we – I mean – should I arrange a date for them, or, like, wait for them to get over the rejection?"

Lincoln pursed his lips. That was a tough question, but at least it wasn't as difficult as requesting him to somehow pull off confessing to each of their crushes. Lincoln mulled over the choices.

"I don't know, Leni," he confessed, "I'd have to know more about this girl. What's she like? Is she pretty sensitive about these things?"

"A girl?" Leni almost said it was a boy, then remembered she had to _trick_ Lincoln into giving advice, "Yeah, a girl. Um, she's like super young, and totes the nicest b- girl I've ever known! She always looks after her… brothers."

"Huh, she sounds nice," Lincoln nodded, "Do you mind me asking what her name is?"

"It's Linc-aaaaaaaaah…." Leni cringed as she drawled out her mistake, "Linka! Her name is Linka!"

"Linka?" Lincoln repeated, raising an eyebrow, "That doesn't sound like a real name…" Wasn't that his name from when he thought he went to the genderbent universe?

"So, what's your advice?" Leni asked, ignoring him.

"She sounds like a great girl," Lincoln snorted, "I don't see why she shouldn't try to get back into the saddle as soon as possible. I mean, it's not like moping around is going to help her any."

"Guys!" Leni called upstairs, startling her brother, "He totes said to date now!"

"Told you!" Lynn cheered, eliciting groans from some of her sisters as they joined their siblings in the living room.

"What's going on here?" Lincoln narrowed his eyes with suspicion.

"You're going on a date, little bro," Lori smirked.

Lincoln muttered a string of colorful curses under his breath at having walked into a trap that only Leni caught, her eyes widening in shock. The boy felt stupid for having walked into such an obvious trap. How on Earth had his sisters convinced innocent Leni to lie?!

"I don't really feel like it," Lincoln mumbled.

"Linc, bro," Luna sat down beside her brother and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "you've helped us out with our romance problems for as long as any of us can remember. Lori and Luc have found a rocking date for you; couldn't you at least give it a shot?"

"She's got a major crush on you~" Lori sang.

"Very major," Lucy agreed, "I think she'd be crushed if you rejected her before even meeting her."

"Low blow, Lucy," Lincoln sighed in defeat, "Alright, alright… I guess I did force my own hand in this with that dumb advice."

His sisters cheered in their excited, girlish squeals that made him wince in pain. All the same, he felt immensely better. Something about their efforts to cheer him up, combined with their childish delight at seeing him going on a date made him feel their unconditional love.

This could go rather nicely, he thought.

 **The story's "main" plot has shifted a bit, but Lynn and Clyde will be in every chapter.**


End file.
